You're awake, but you don't know why.
You're not in your bed, but rather, a dentist chair. You try to speak, but your words come out ungraceful and slurred.
Nothing feels...stabilized. The whole world looked like a lava lamp and you began to laugh, in fact, you laugh so hard that you snorted.
Which, of course, made you laugh even harder.
"I'm peppa pig!" You declare through half shut eyes. "Peppa mudderfuckinggg Pig!"
You were quietly slurring your way through the theme song when the most beautiful man you have ever seen walks through the door, followed by a woman in a white coat.
At least, you think. You don't really remember much up until now.
"Looks like somebody's awake." He chuckles. "How do you feel babe?" He asked, pushing a loose curl out of your face.
For some reason you try and bite his finger.
"You're hot. Also, you talk funny." You blurt out, pausing to suck the drool back into your mouth. Your eyes widen with excitement."You sound like Daddy Pig!"
"Hmph," he shrugs, struggling to keep a serious face. "That's not the first time you've called me "daddy" but the "pig" part is new."
He was the only one who laughed.
You were in his car now, and the laughing gas was slowly beginning to wear off. You identify Daddy Pig as Harry only after you blasted his album the whole ride home, and he explained every single song to you as a distraction so that you didn't try anything stupid.
"What's this one called Dad- I mean Harry?" His name still sounding as foreign as ever to you.
"Sweet Creature" He explained carefully, shouting above the music."And I wrote it about a very special woman, one what I love very much."
"Suhweeet Creature!" You squeal in approval. "I love it, love it, loovee it!"
You sit silently in thought before your shoulders drop dramatically in defeat.
"It's Mommy Pig isn't it?" You sigh, attempting to stick your finger in his ear.
Harry's face lights up. "It's about you, babe." He catches your hand and kisses it. "Half the album is actually."
Suddenly, you screech, causing Harry to slam on the brakes.
"Holy ShITTTT"
"What? What is it?" He asks urgently. "Is it your mouth? Does it hurt?"
"That means that...YOU'RE MY BOYFRIEND!" You squeal excitedly, manically clapping your hands together. "The hairy, Daddy Pig is all mine!"
You decided that you were getting tired, so you climbed in the back seat of his range rover and laid in the fetal position.
"Suhweet creeeture, suhweet creeture ". You slurred along through half shut eyes, the gauze packed into your gums causing an involuntary lisp.
"Whereee eveaaaa I goo..."You trail off, burying your face into your arm.
"You bring me home." He finishes, glancing at you in the rear view mirror. He sighed in relief as he watched your eyelids grow heavy and you head hang limp.
Later that evening your jaw felt like it was hanging on the floor. Harry had you propped up in front of the television while you waited for your medicine to kick in. He was laid across your lap as you two binged old reruns of "Fraiser"
"So, did I say anything interesting today?" You ask as you gently massage his scalp. The last thing you remember is falling asleep, but you being so introverted were anxious to hear how outrageous you were acting.
Harry rises up, a toothy grin spread across his lips. He thought about all the shenanigans you pulled today, how you thought his name was Daddy Pig and how you bit his finger.
Then he noticed, how puffy your face looked, and how your large, honey brown eyes were coddled by dark purple bags. Despite all the jokes, you had a pretty rough day.
To your surprise you're met with a gentle peck on the lips instead.
"You are so weird." You smiled, holding his adorable face in your hands. You couldn't help but to kiss him again, and again, and again.
"No." He corrects you, pulling away. "I just really know how to distract you."
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This one was kind of stupid but I had fun. Comment your thoughts!
-Kia
