My only hope.

Chapter 1

    I woke up thinking of how I'm suppose to live without a daughter and a husband and now, my only son is going to leave me in just 18 months. He is too young to die. If only god could resurrect my daughter's life and if only Richard didn't left me. He would've been here supporting Thomas and I.

" Mom! Help me! Mooom!! " cried Thomas loudly. I soon run to Thomas's room and reach out for the knob.

" Dear, what happened? I heard you cried out for me. Are you okay? Oh my. "

" No mom. I'm okay just that I dreamt of Belle. She said that it was my fault she died. She was pulling my hand and was forcing me to follow her. " tears rolled down his cheeks.

" It's nothing honey. I'll be right here for you. Her death is nothing got to do with you, okay? Its just a dream. Lets get dressed, today is your chemotherapy. " I hugged him tightly and cried silently.

" Mom, it wasn't my fault right that Belle died? But if it wasn't because of me, that truck wouldn't have hit her. "

" Of course not. "

" Mom, you'd never talk about dad. Would you mind sharing with me about dad? "

I continued with what I was doing and ignored his question as if I didn't heard it and told him to change as quickly as possible. My heart thumped as if it was going to stop beating. I just couldn't talk about Richard with Thomas because I told Belle about Richard before and Belle couldn't accept that Richard is her father. She always hated him for everything that he had done towards me. I thought that if I were to talk about Richard to Thomas, he couldn't accept it too but he was too young to understand. So, I thought I should just keep my mouth shut and wait until the time is right.

         As soon as Thomas had finished changing, we went straight into the car and went for the hospital. When Thomas was in the therapy room, I sat down thinking how my life would've been if Richard is still right by my side as well as Belle and Thomas won't have leukemia. My life would be perfect and I would lead a happy life. I know thats just a dream and it won't happen. Never in a million years. Sometimes I think about Richard and how he and Cynthia is. Every night I cried thinking where he would've been. It hurts me alot. Why God gave me a life like this? When will it be better?