New Awakenings

The Last Breath

I'm lying here, bloodied and wheezing. My vision was beginning to go black as I somehow managed to stand myself up. The only sound that reached  my ears was the death like beating of my heart. A weak, pitiful laugh escaped as tears spilled down my cheeks. Supporting my body with the bathroom sink. Looking around dully, I take in the familiar sight of my dark green walls and smokey grey marble tiles. It wasn't that big really, only enough to fit the sink, toilet and shower/tub. Eyesight landing on the toilet right next to the sink and adjacent to the wall with the door, I decide to rest and plop weakly onto the lid. My back leans up against the cold, porcelain tank, smearing my blood onto it. I knew I should probably get to a hospital with all the blood that I lost, but the idea only made me laugh more. Then I stopped, quiet and deep in thought.

Lana...........

My best friend. My crush. My love. She plagues my mind non stop, but she's off limits. Not only is she straight......but she also has a boyfriend. I growl at the thought of him. He was too cowardly to do this all by himself so he recruited a few friends. A dejected sigh escapes past my lips as I relapse into my memories.

Nothing but nerves ran through my veins and pooled in my gut. I called Lana almost twenty times with no answer in the past five hours. I was worried, but I had no idea what to think and I certainly didn't want to think of why she could be held up. I'm always the one to schedule our get togethers, sure she'll suggest places, but she's never actually wanted to hang out with me on her own. We were best friends, absolutely no doubt about that, but sometimes it made me wonder. 

Finally just working up the courage, I take a deep breath and hope for an answer. When I got only the prerecorded message of her angelic voice, it dwindled, but I held onto it tightly, as though for life.

"Hey, I know I blew up your phone, but I really needed to talk to you. I-I love you. And I don't just mean as a friend. I understand if you don't like me back, but please, at least give me the rejection face to face.......meet me at the old abandoned fountain by my house at 9. I'm sure you know the one......" My heart was racing out of control as I slowly lowered the cell to my lap. Tears were already spilling down my cheeks as my thoughts turned depressing. I suddenly decided against wanting to hear her rejection with my own two ears and dialed her up again. Not surprisingly getting her machine,

 "Um, I'm sorry, I can't do this. J-just ignore that rejection part. If you don't want to deal with me now then I won't make you...." I sniffle pitifully, ".....I'm just going to assume you hear this message by 9 because if I don't see you by 9:30.......this is the last time you'll ever hear from me again. So bye, I guess....." My voice cracks at the end of the message and I just break down. Full on sobbing at the fact that tonight I may lose both my best friend and my one and only love.

Another, lone tear escaped from my eye. I look at my discarded phone on the sink. It's been sitting there since I left at 8 and I still haven't touched it yet. I put pressure on the cut going down my stomach. It wasn't deep enough for my guts to spill, but definitely enough for me to possibly bleed out. My eyes land on my phone again and I decide to check how long I was out for.

6:24 am it mocks with a picture of the two of us sleeping together, snuggling for warmth. I stare blankly at the now black screen. No thoughts popping into my head as I feel the life draining from my body. Silence was all I was presented with, a terrible, terrible silence. One that pooled anxiety into your gut. It built up and up until finally, my phone rang.

Snapping back to the offending object, my eyes go wide at the sight of her name. Hesitantly, I pick up and answer.

"Oh Goddess, thank you!" I hear her call out in relief, her voice sounded a little raw, "Kya please, I'm so so so so sorry! Jack died yesterday morning and I went out.........w-where are you?" I need to talk to you......in person...." She trails off, unsure. I start to laugh hard enough to cough up blood. I know she heard.