Can't Deny You

Prologue

It is truly said. "You can only lose what you cling to."

No matter how much we want things to stay the same, life is all about never ending changes. Sometimes change is for the better, and sometimes it's simply for devastating the better. Well.... talking about change today makes me numb. I  don't feel those lively changes; those pleasant sensations of water touching my soft petal - like lips, of  flute's melodious music calming the burning hell of my ever thinking mind and making the ocean there  go still, of the stinging pain in cheeks because of smiling a lot..........Wait, did I just said th..th..that word 'SMILE'. Well uhhhh, to me now it doesn't even count as a feeling . Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against smiling  but its just life is sometimes like a your 'stupid- crazy, drunken psycho friend' driving your love; your car at a speed of 125km/hr on a busy road where even ants see the clouds over horizon ;sitting in the passenger  seat, you don't even know what will hit you next and before  your mind gets off from one collapse, another is already accelerated enough to add an insult to injury and this goes on till the 'time' you stop feeling THIS TRAUMATIC SENSATION of say shock, fear and anxiety which I used to sometime back. "TIME".... The most gracious as well as the most atrocious thing of this universe. In one instance, it can make you feel on the top of this world and in the next you feel like completely drowning in the depths of ocean and when you look around you just stare at those  extremely unfamiliar "pisces" going around to and fro from you. But, you feel completely alone like from inside you are screaming in terrific, melancholy dark room and that devilish darkness is engulfing you, trying  to give you that 'aunt's bone-crushing bear hug'  which'll add "IN THE MEMORY OF" before your name. It feels like it's coming closer ...closer and more closer...finally I'm  surrounded with deat...........

Knock..knock.......

Thank god finally, the long lasting preaching session of AsZ  was disturbed ...well, god bless that idiot standing at my door. Wait ......someone is standing at my door!!!!!!! 

"Crikey!! What should I do ? Should I call J .......or should I escape from the window or oh god...where's my baseball bat." I started ruffling the stuff in the corner of the room.

"Psycho... stop faffing around. You need to open the door when someone knocks like a normal person. Uhhh...What would you have done without me."

Seriouslyyy.....Great one AsZ!!! I really doubt you are my subconscious....you're meant to express my inner feelings to ease my decisions(HAhahaha) not to suggest things which would make me end up in 'Cemetery'......

"Props!!!But you really think the situations're supposed to be normal, AsZ?"

"Ummmmm....ok atle...

KNOCK!KNOCK!

"May I know who's there?" I reluctantly shouted from my bed.

"Sorry to interrupt ma'am, this is Jasmine Bill ;the one who's angel smile and handshake's offer you quite rudely rejected at reception."

I exhaled in relief.....  well, a sincere thanks to my lucky stars....

"Well smiling angel, to your disappointment I'll have that handshake with you in that lovely heaven after you reach there. Right now may I know your reason to knock and disturb me." I said frustrated while wide opening the door. Whattt! of course I don't want her here and moreover she interrupted AsZ. Not that I'm angry with that but no one other than me gets to do that.

"Easy-peasy girl!! It's not like I'm gonna kill you as I feel too tempted for that handshake in heaven but you left this carry bag at the couch in the parlour."

"Oh yeah... thanks for that."

"Mention not sweetie pie. Well lunch is in two hours and just to remind you your school starts tomorrow and your routine is there in that folder you got handed before" Saying this she left. 

God!! Why people need to be so sweet. and I'm feeling guilty for being rude to...Jess...Jessica..Jasmrit...ahh.

"It's Jasmine, sweety." A sound from corridor echoed. I could see her smirking even though she went away.

"AS IF I CARE." I shouted.

So yeah!! This is AAISHA SINGHAL in USA, all the way from India. Well I'm not the most pleasant person of this world but yeah that's basically because of my Pear - Shaped Life.

" You know you need to complete your high school at any cost."

" Kudos for stating the obvious but I know it very well AsZ but I just not at all feel like doin...."

" JUST REMEMBER YOUR PROMISE GIRL." 

A tear slipped my eyes with the sudden blow memories in my mind. No! This can't be happenning. I can't again go numb.

"Hello... one..two..three..one..two...three; connection testing..one..two..three. You there Aish?"

"Yeah AsZ.....now,let me unpack and just shut the hell up unless you can help.

Well promises are worst then lies. They make you give others 'Hope' that you are not sure you can give. Remembering my promise I kissed those  sparkling diamond rings in my necklace. 

"I still remember how heavenly they looked on those hardworking hands."

" STOP IT AsZ!!,  not now."

 I moved towards my stuff.

No doubt it is going to be a hell long time before lunch.

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