Even in the corridor, I can smell that strong smell. It used to make me afraid, but not anymore. I can hardly see, and my eyes burn because I've been rubbing at them. Nasir says not to do that. But today, it's mister Nachak who holds my hand as I walk, half blinded, to big brother's chambers. I look up at him, just to see him again. He looks a lot like Nasir, but with more marks on his face. His eyes are kind.
As the doors open, the smell of the medicine greets us like a wall. It stings my eyes, so I cover them. Nachak seems used to it. I'm lead in to see my brother, who is resting in bed. I am lifted up and set onto the plush bed, feeling the surface dip in towards the weight of its occupant. I feel a hand rest on my head and ruffle up my hair gently. It's Clovisse. Immediately I forget the sting and force my eyes open to see him, heart lightened by his presence. The sight of him in the crisp, freshly changed linens doesn't phase me, nor do his fresh bandages. Today they're covering half of his face. Surprisingly, the eye on his good side is uncovered, but closed. I can see the veins in his eyelids through his transparent, sunken skin there. The intricate network they form reminds me of a net, or a fancy black lace like I see on some of my clothes. Clovisse's long black eyelashes add to that visual.
"And how is the young prince today?" His soft voice says to me. He never sounds weak or tired to me.
"I went to the gardens again. In my stories, I read about fairies that sleep in the petals of big flowers, and I could think of no place with bigger or more beautiful flowers than the gardens." I can always think of something to talk about with Clovisse. He can always think of things to say back to me, too. I am reminded of how at ease I become around my big brother.
"Is that so? Have you found any? You must be reading just what Nachak read to me when I was your age. I tried to find fairies too..."
"No...I found none. But they are elusive, are they not? They wouldn't sleep in places a boy like me could find them. Otherwise, the cat would get them, wouldn't she?" I lie down next to Clovisse. The medicinal smell is strong and burns my eyes again, causing them to water. I notice that when my tearing eyes touch Clovisse's clean white linen, grey stains form. The arm of the elder prince is heavy around my small shoulders. Once they were heavier, when Clovisse could still walk.
"That's right. You're very smart to realize that." Clovisse pauses, breath moving with some concealed effort in his chest. "Nachak, would you see to Nasir? Your son is too devoted. He doesn't care for himself. See to it that he has supper tonight. I know he didn't last. He was tending to my young brother, wasn't he?"
Somewhere where I can't see, Nachak laughs quietly.
"You're right. I suppose I ought to have taught him better habits rather than allow him to take after my own. I will return shortly..." Nachak pauses. He always has a way of understanding Clovisse, what he really means, without using words. After a silence, I hear the doors to the bedchambers close gently. I feel Clovisse move beneath me. He sits up, and I can feel his long hair brush over me. Not often do I feel such things, but I feel overcome by dread at this gesture. Afraid of losing Clovisse, I sit up and fling my arms around his middle, squeezing him hard. My tears stain the front of his white bed clothes grey. I cry, understanding something that Clovisse doesn't have to say. He says them, not to make me sad. But to make me understand, because he knows soon he will not be able to.
"Little Lyric. Little prince, why do you weep...? Do you know why I want to talk to you...?" I nod, further sullying my brother's clothes. I know why.
"Yes...you do. You and I are the same. I'm sorry, Lyric. I'm sorry it's that way." Clovisse gathers me close for a hug. I'm still clinging tight to his front.
