She was always alone.... she never had friends she barely knew what it was like to love someone.... she was perfect.... but so broken.... lost.... À̴̱͝L̜̳ͮ̉O̴̰̝̞̽̄͊͟ͅÑ͖̖̲̐̒͗E̷͔̎͠͠͝ͅ she never deserved to be neglected, and yet she was. Before her a...
Well at least they do if you've learned that all of it could be taken away.
i curl up in my blanket engulfed in the warmth of it as i practically thank it for existing.
There was no figure next to me, nothing clinging to me. Nothing forcing itself into me. Nothing at all. It was just.... me. I smile at the thought of being free from him.
Was it all just a crazy dream? I think to myself quietly as i felt a shiver on my back. It wasn't him. It was the cold loneliness creeping up on me wrapping itself around me. God i should have been more positive back when he was still around, maybe that would have made him nicer and helped him actually love me and treat me better. Or maybe he would have been worse so i thank the world for allowing me to continue the lonely existence i had before him, even if being lonely was horrible I wouldn't complain to much, not after him. I roll out of bed and drag my bare feet to the kitchen as i make myself coffee. I'm alive... after... everything.
"Honey, just put your, sweet lips on my lips. We should just kiss like real people do" i sing softly to Hozier while i dance in the kitchen freely, alone, no one to judge me or ask a single question. I chuckle at myself realizing how stupid i must look making a large heap of cookie dough and dancing and singing to the songs that play on pandora.
As i smooth out the ice cream before setting the final cookie on top i smile at my masterpiece of a chocolate chip oreo ice cream cookie cake. I set it in the freezer as i clean myself and the kitchen up before grabbing my wallet and getting dressed and walking down to the shop a mile away.
"Hows it goin dude" Frank the cashier says referencing game grumps when they played house party, it was a small convenience store, one person was only working most the time and it was almost always Frank.
I laugh at his impression, "guess you finally started watching game grumps, thats good to know" i say laughing
He simply smiles, "well i was gonna actually have a party for an old friend of mine who just moved back since they got accepted into Trinity" he says with a chuckle, "ever since i started seeing you with that one guy you seemed kinda depressed so i wanted to invite you if you feel like goin anywhere" he says a little nervous
I chuckle, "as long as i can get shit faced im down for any party..... especially since i havent been to one since i was 18" i say with a shrug
"No way! Thats six years little missy! You should at least have one a year!" He says in shock as i set my things on the counter. He begins ringing up my items looking at them cautiously, "damn the fuck did he do! He fucked you up really good to be eaten like this" he mentions at all the junk food and depression food
I chuckle nervously, "he... uh... yea he did....." i say softly as i sigh and rub my arm lightly
"I'll write down the address to that party" Frank says with a smile as he grabs a piece of paper and writes it down, "its tonight, and starts at 9 and goes till about 4:30" Frank says as he hands me the paper.
"Ya know, it'd be nice to leave the house, thanks Frank, I'll try going" i say softly as i pay for my things and leave putting the address in my pocket.
I put away my groceries and drink some soda while i play legend of zelda twilight princess HD. Time begins to file, and as it gets to 10pm i decide to go to the party i throw on a black muscle shirt and some blue jeans with black converse.
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(Rihanna should be a fucking icon to all women! So this the outfit lmao)
The party was only 2 kilometers away in a field that wasn't owned by anyone, it was just the usual hang out spot for college kids to get away from the city life. I listen to music with my headphones blaring in my ears while i walk.
Soon i see the bonfire in the distance and smile, i hadn't been out of the house in a long time and the freedom was so sweet and refreshing. I reach the party and immediately grab an untouched bottle of whiskey. From the cups lying around i was pretty sure i should have just pored a glass but i didn't really feel like it.
"Yo! If you gonna take the whole bottle then you gotta chug it right now" i hear some dude behind me his voice was familiar
I turn around to see Frank and chuckle, "boy you dont know me" i say as i quickly spin the top off and flick it away and begin chugging the bottle.
Frank stares at me in disbelief while people around me start noticing and cheering me on.
I finish the bottle feeling a slight burn in my throat as i wipe my mouth with my hand. I out stretch my arms and stare at Frank dead on, "still think im the innocent little customer at your store?" I ask as i walk up to him and high five him
He laughs nervously, "that was fuckin wild! Who knew a game developer could go crazy like that" he says with a chuckle
I begin hanging out with frank and before i can realize almost every time i remember something theres a different bottle in my hand each time.things become fuzzy and i stop caring what anyone thinks about me. I almost feel on top of the world.
I remember there being some dude with his electric guitar and his amp hooked up and he was doin a part from stairway to heaven over and over again. I played guitar when i was a teen because my grandma had one so i was pretty good at it. I remember asking him if i could try and he tried to be a smart ass acting like i was a drunken idiot, which i was a little drunk but could still play the guitar like a badass. I start off simple doin bits and pieces from classic bands like The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, and Gun's n Roses. I then break out in full rock n roll and start playing the entire 4 minutes solo to free bird
(Skip to 4:53 to hear the entire solo and yes this song is nine and half minutes long and half of those nine minutes is the guitar solo!)
Things fade in and out. I don't remember much just the fact that i drew way to much attention to what i could do, i was honestly a total badass but i didnt like people knowing.... unless i was drunk.
I remember him his fluffy brown hair and crystal blue eyes, his pale skin and dark facial hair that covered his chin and mouth and lightly dotted at his jaw. The glow from the bonfire bringing life to his shadowed figure from the dark night. His voice repeating itself in my head like a cassette tape of my favorite album.
"Didn't think anyone hear would be interesting at all" he says softly as he hands me a drink
I wave my hand refusing it. I didn't trust any drinks from anyone else incase they were drugged cause i was somewhat smart.
I couldn't remember much, just that the two of us hung out for the rest of the time at the party.
"How about i take you home? You are in no condition to walk on your own" he says quickly sweeping me off my feet and carrying me in his arms.
I lean my head on his chest and chuckle softly, "thanks but i can walk on my own" i slur my words speaking softly, "its the third house, the blue one to your left" i say as he begins carrying me home.
I remember the moments after that too clearly then i should. I told him where to go to bring me into my room because he insisted that he lay me on some form of furniture so i can just pass out immediately. As he began to leave i clung to his clothing. I didn't really know why it felt like something forced me to, "st-stay awhile?" I asked softly sitting up and rubbing my eyes.
He sits down next to me and looks at me worried. Even in the dark i can still see his beautiful eyes. Before i can stop anything my lips connect with his and i lose myself in him.
