Cruel Kiss (On Hold)

Chapter 9- Preparations

**Kenna's POV**

I can think of nothing except his lips on mine. The way they crashed against my lips, hot and demanding. The savage growl that escaped his throat when I tugged his hair. The feeling of his body pressed against mine. When we touched, it was like a fire consumed me. I've never felt anything like it.

The darkness in me seemed to come alive when he moved against me, a savage and primal instinct demanding to take hold. The hunger for him thrummed down my spine. All I've been able to think about these past few days since has been how much I still want more.

He's been avoiding me. He always has an excuse, but when we rehearsed the speech he's going to give during the hunt tonight, he wouldn't even look at me. It's driving me crazy. He's the one that kissed me, and now he won't even acknowledge me for more than two seconds. Talk about hot and cold.

"-don't you think?" Maddie calls from across the room, her voice breaking me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I question, a slash of guilt going through me as I see the hurt in her eyes.

She knows I haven't been paying attention to anything she's been saying for who knows how long now. I feel bad about it, but I just can't stop thinking about him. I truly want to try to be her friend, she seems like a great person, and an amazing friend to have.

"The hunt tonight. I said it's kind of exciting, don't you think?" She repeats, a worried look blooming in her eyes as she sees my panicked expression.

Tonight is the hunt, where I will be expected to shift into a wolf and hunt an animal with Emir and his pack. Emir's pack is called the Bloodmoon pack, and Maddie says everyone is practically humming in excitement that this blood moon, they will be joined in the hunt by the Sacred Omega. It just seems like quite a lot of pressure though.

What if I can't shift? What if I don't want to turn into a wolf? It's one thing to accept the fact that Emir and Maddie do it, but it's another thing entirely to do it myself. What if I don't like it? What if it hurts?

According to Maddie, the first time hurts the worst. After that, the more I do it, the less it will hurt. The knowledge doesn't exactly soothe my fears though. I'm not exactly a big fan of pain.

Maddie comes over to sit on the bed beside me. Her eyes hold a sympathetic gleam as my leg begins bouncing in an effort to relieve my nerves.

"It'll be fun. I promise you'll love it. It's really magical." She reassures me, her hand coming up to rest on my arm in a soothing gesture.

"What if I can't do it?" I ask, voicing my fears.

"You can do it. Emir says he saw your eyes glow himself when you were first brought here. I was scared my first time too, but it'll be great, I promise." She says, giving me a small smile.

I take a deep breath, trying to allow her words to sink in. I need to relax, worrying isn't going to help anything.

A sudden knock on the door brings me out of my head. We both look up as Emir walks in, and surprise flows through me. The only time he's voluntarily been around me the last few days was during the rehearsal yesterday.

He has a box in his hands, the dark wrappings are neat and tidy. As he steps forward, his blue eyes meet my gray ones. He allows the look to linger a few moments before he casts his eyes downwards

"This is for you. Alaric told me the Sacred Omega is supposed to wear it during rituals." Emir's rough voice rumbles in the space between us.

He thrusts out his hands, holding the box up like an offering. He looks at me again, his eyes a little wide as they drift down to my lips before quickly glancing away again. My cheeks heat as I see Maddie glancing between us in confusion.

"Oh-um. Thanks." I tell him softly, reaching out and taking the box from him before returning to the bed.

As I rip open the box, I can feel his gaze on me intently. Doing my best to ignore him, I lift the lid. Inside is a white ceremonial robe. Around the collar, symbols are embroidered in gold. I can make out a crescent moon and stars, as well as a looping knot connecting them. The material is soft and velvety. It was beautiful.

"Oh, Kenna! It's pretty!" Maddie exclaims, excitement evident in her voice.

"Yes, it is. Thank you, Emir." I say, looking up at the man in question.

He gives a stiff nod, his muscles tensing after a moment under my gaze.

"You're welcome. I guess I'll leave you to it then." He says, glancing around the room as if he was uncomfortable.

"Kenna, you should try it on! I can't wait to see!" Maddie says, beginning to move toward me before Emir's voice halts her.

"No, Maddie. We should leave her alone to prepare for tonight." He says, his words causing dread to uncurl in my stomach.

I don't want to be alone. I'm terrified enough of tonight, I don't need to dwell on it by myself. I want him to stay. I want Maddie to stay.

Maddie shoots me a sympathetic look as she follows Emir to the door, heading out before him. He grabs hold of the door as he walks through, turning back at the last moment to look at me.

"I'll see you tonight, Kenna." He says.

I can practically hear the internal conflict in his voice as he gives me one last look before closing the door behind him, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I knew it was wrong to want him. Instinctively, I know that he isn't my mate. That alone should make me want to stay away, but every time he's near, all I want to do is get closer. He's keeping his distance though. Why that is, I'm not sure, but if that's what he wants then I need to respect that. I need to keep my distance too.