The Outcast and Her Love

Why?

The sky above was as blank as the look in her eyes, void of any known existence and possessed an absence of life. Shadows cast by the fire, danced across the surface of the trees in the forest, off of the over grown grass surrounding her making it seem as if she was sinking in an ocean of darkness. The moon was gone, leaving her alone like so many others have done before it. Her existence was nothing; nothing about her mattered, nothing about her cared, nothing about her loved, nothing about her even lived... at least not anymore. The brisk air along the east coast was freezing to the core, its tendrils wrapped around her measly body like it was just another thing to punish upon this earth. Which she was, so much sin has been committed inside that body, she deserved as much punishment she could get, she should be tortured or burned at the stake for the things she has done. All of these things could be done to her, yet she wouldn't mind, because her true punishment lies within a different realm altogether, a divine punishment placed upon her by the one she adored most, the heavenly God above.

He had banished her at the throne, sent her along with many others just like her to this God-forsaken place where all things humane come to die. Her brethren had been lied to, torn asunder by Lucifer, they were blinded by his deception from rare acts of kindness and the thought that he believed in them. At the time they believed in him, he fought for equality and love at the beginning, wanting to become equal with us minuscule 'humans' was all they asked for. Most of them joined him at that time, before he started to condemn God of being unloving. They were bound by death to him at that point, they couldn't do anything about it if they tried, but there was no stopping Lucifer and the Fall. When Roll Call came and they had to choose sides most were too terrified to even consider crossing Lucifer. Those who were undecided were cursed by God above to wander the earth, blinded by their choice, forced to wear gangrenous wings never to have any contact with the Throne at all, they could never seek repentance nor even cross the threshold of a church. Outcasts of the Heavenly Hosts are what they became, yet still she held so much beauty to this day.

She didn't know I was standing there, watching her from behind a tree, the cold feel of steel against my waist felt foreign to me. She was literally sitting within the flames for warmth, her flesh burning and peeling away limb from limb, yet her angelic nature healing her almost instantly. Her head hung low as I approached her, leaving the shadows behind me. The distance between us grew smaller until I was right beside her. She knew I was there, yet she didn't move as I stood there waiting.

"hello Alexandra." The world seemed to close around us, engulfing us in a bubble of darkness, the only noise coming from the fire crackling.

"why are you here Jonathan?"

​"I don't know. I just don't. I had this feeling to come here like I was drawn towards this feeling." It was the only explanation I could give, because she was staring directly towards me still within the flames completely unaware of her flesh peeling away like a birch tree.

​"That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard, why are you really here. Has he sent you to kill me? To send a message throughout the fallen world that you don't mess with Lucifer? Because, as you can see I'm too busy for these idiotic games."

​

She stood up slowly in the flames, her jet black curly hair falling across her face hiding her eyes from my view. Her clothes were still on fire, her hair singed at the tips. She walked towards me, keeping her head down as she seductively approached. "Jonathan, you just expect me to take you back on a whim just because you had a notion to come here? You left me! You didn't show up for our date, and when I got back home, you were gone. YOU WERE THE ONE WHO LEFT ME. How do you just expect me to run into your arms and forgive you?"

​"I don't. I don't expect anything from you. I hurt you, and I am ashamed of that. Because, I can't help but feel,"

​"YOU CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL WHAT JONATHAN? You didn't just hurt me; you of all people should know that an Outcast cannot feel love. I AM NOT ALLOWED TO FEEL THE THINGS I FEEL FOR YOU! It is forbidden for me to even utter the word Jonathan. How confusing do you think it is, to know that every day since I met you, I have been breaking Gods curse, that I am the most despised being throughout the brethren! To know that no matter what you do you will never EVER be looked at directly in the eye, and then you come. You don't just look at me, you stare. You come up to me and love me right away there was no denying what was inside of you. You defied everything that separates us from the human world, you march right in and just declare you love for me. You see my wings in all of their misery, decaying at the tips, my feathers gone only to leave leathery skin like a bat. Instead of fleeing or averting your gaze, you run to me and gawk at them in astonishment." she ran towards me but stopped with two feet of distance between us. "There is also the issue of you being a human as well, Jonathan I'll outlive you, it's best for us to depart. To go our separate ways and just move on."

​"Alexandra, I don't want to move on, you are my heart's desire. Every path I take will lead me back to you." I don't want to lose her now; she's so close to me yet so far away.

​"Jonathan, there is no way! The Throne above is repulsed by us, we are despised wherever we turn, angels and demons loathe us because of this. I don't want to harm you, and frankly I don't want to see you."

It was like a bullet pierced my heart, her words like daggers stabbed and twisted within my soul.

"I don't want to see you because I know if I do, I'll run straight back to you every time. I'll run right back to your crystal blue eyes, and your luscious brown hair. You're broad shoulders that are perfect for my head to lie on, and your body that completely engulfs mine in our embrace."

"I need you to come with me now." She had to or we would be too late, she has to understand that time is running out.

"what? Why? What's happened?"

"Alexandra, I found a way for us." I waited for her response but yet she did not run towards me, to fill the distance between us.

"No, that's not possible; there is no way for us to be together upon this earth!"

"Yes there is! You can take my soul as I'm departing from this world!"

"What are you saying Jonathan, who told you of this? I don't understand what are you saying to me?"

A tear streamed down my face, "I'd hope you understand... when someone dies within this realm and is summoned to the Throne to be judged, the soul takes a long journey to reach the Throne. You can take my soul from this world and place it within you so that I will always be there for you."

"WHO TOLD YOU OF THIS? Jonathan do NOT DO THIS TO ME!"

"An old friend of yours decided to visit me in a nightmare; he said all of our problems would go away if I did this. That we could finally be together, and that's all I ever wanted for us." I reached for the hilt of the dagger, unsheathing it from its hidden sleeve, revealing all of its glory. I placed it directly over my chest and plunged it into my heart. "Goodbye for now Alexandra."

"JONATHAN NOOO!!!!!!!!" She ran to him, and swaddled him like a child, rocking him back and forth, brushing his face.

"Baby please, don't leave me, please baby don't go. I don't know what to do without you, baby I need you to live to breathe."

Through gasping breaths, "don't worry about me, go." My eye fell upon her face and I knew she loved me and always will, I looked up at the stars and they seemed so beautiful to me now. Just knowing that I may never see this world again made me appreciate all of the hidden beauty surrounding me. The stars got blurry, and Alexandra started to fade away her eyes still wet with tears, she was so beautiful. She was the last thing I saw, and I could still here her crying out to me when the world went black.