Broken Lives

Broken

Lia POV

I wake to the sound of my parents fighting again. I sit up and reach over to stop the continuous beeping of my alarm clock on the bedside table. It doesn't stop, broken. Most of the stuff in my house is like that, neglected,  beyond repair. Including me. I'm trying to listen into this argument but I can't hear a thing. Oh right, school. As I make my way down the broken, creaky stairs, the voices of my parents become clearer, every step of the way. My mother is crying, helplessly. I'm guessing dad hit her again. I feel anger bubbling up inside, I try to keep it down but I can't, my mother almost silent sobs are causing anger to lurch inside my stomach. I come barging into the living room and screaming at my father when I say the red marks on my mother's face, everything becomes blurry from the tears forming in my eyes. I've cried so much in my life that whenever I cry, there is no sound. In the end, I am standing looking deep into my father's eyes with hate and he just stares right back like he didn't just punch my mother. I am the first to look away because my eyes fall onto my mother. I put my hand out and she takes it. It's hard for her to stand at first but I help her as we walk through the hall together towards the kitchen. She's shaking uncontrollably as I peel her off my arm and I help her onto a sofa; her favorite one, the one furthest from dad. No, not dad. That man stopped being my father as soon as he went awol. As soon as my mother welcomed him back to us with open arms. As soon as it all went wrong.

With my exercise books hugged towards my chest, I walk down the main hallway of the school. When I reach my locker, I open it and carefully store my black backpack inside it. The minute I close it, that's when I see him, striding right up to me. With fear and annoyance, I glare at him as he walks up to me and slaps me right on the face. As his hand lands on my face, a humongous noise fills the air and everyone turns around to stare at me and my father.

My eyes are gradually filling with tears. I have so many questions; Why is he here? Why did he just slap me? What did I do? Did he hurt Mum too? When I think of this last question, all of my thoughts of sadness transform to anger, still holding my cheek, I scream "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!?!" When he sees all the hatred in my eyes, he begins to back away. "WHAT DID MUM AND I DO TO YOU?!?!" I shout as I step towards him. He almost loses balance but manages to pick himself back up. Then I think to myself What am I doing? This is what he wants, he wants me to lose my temper and show my devil side. But no, I won't give in. Never. I stumble back and that's when I see the bottle in his hand. He's been drinking again. I grab it from his hand and stare at it with disbelieving eyes. I feel the tears roll down my cheek, I force the bottle back into his hands and turn around. As I walk away I say over my shoulder "I wish you were never my father."

I glue my eyes to the floor trying not to look in the eyes of my classmates. As I walk to Reading Literature Lesson, I can feel all the eyes looking around and then eventually end up resting on me. I just act like nothing happened and look down at the floor, examining my black and white Nike Trainers. I hear all of the muffled whispers like walls closing in on me, leaving with no oxygen in my lungs. I'm panicking now but I can't show it or people would think I'm weird ... I guess they already think that. Urgh, my stupid father. I feel like I have no more left to cry, but, of course, I'm wrong, once again. The minute I reach the bathroom, I'm practically crying my eyes out. I'm glaring at the red mark left by my dad when he slapped me. I rub it to sooth the pain, I try to stay calm but the tears are too fast and keep on coming. I feel like I'm swimming in a pool of tears, drowning from all the depression - by the way, there is a lot of depression in this pool I created, using my own eyes. That's when they walk in, the worst people I could bump into at this moment. The one minute I'm actually crying the school bullies decide to walk in with their shorts skirts and Barbie faces, plastic idiots. Immediately, I grab my books, that I left on the side of the sink, and try to walk out, when Riley puts her hand in my way, "You're going nowhere, crybaby." 

I stop. Why bother caring by now, why do anything so futile as to try preventing the pain? God, by now I don't even think what they are doing is wrong. This is normal. This is life. My stupid, worthless life. Riley steps forward. Mini Skirt and crop top. A stereotype of a popular girl, the one who's always portrayed as so shallow in the films. The thought grants me a few short moments of comfort. That's as close as I get to happiness now. Her friends hold me against the door whilst Riley grabs a pencil and it's sharpener. She slowly begins unscrewing the blade from the sharpener, using the tip of the pencil. I swallow, apparently, Riley is not as stupid as she looks. Famous last words if I ever heard them. I let out a laugh as the small blade cuts through the skin, tracing my jawline. I can feel it drawing blood but cannot bring myself to care. She shoves me out of the red-splattered bathroom with blood dripping from my chin. Leaving a trail. Showing I'm scarred. I see all the eyes land on me, on the blood, on the scars. I tremble as I look for a way to get out of this horrid place, but I see no escape, nothing. 

Quivering, I push my back against a locker, identical to all the others. my eyes bulging at the number of people watching the blood drip down my jawline.  I clench my teeth that are filled with anger from Riley and her stupid gang. I walk, in what I hope is a confident way, past the teachers and students alike, I just want to run. I can't. I can't give her the satisfaction. Can't, can't, can't. The word keeps repeating itself in my mind: can't stop Riley, can't help mum, can't stop dad, can't be happy. Or safe. 

I smirk in spite of myself, since when did my life become such a sob story? The smirk vanishes as I realise the answer. Forever. Since forever. Since I was brought into the world before my parents were ready. Since that... man  ran away with someone else at the sight of me. Since my mum lost her mind because of him.