Mr. Horan (Student/Teacher - Niam Horayne)

Chapter 46

Hey guys! I figured I'd update now because I feel pretty shit for updating so late...I'm also sorry about my little rant earlier on, it was stupid but things are pretty rough but in good news, I got 2 D's, 6 C's and 4 B's in my junior cert so I'm happy with myself rn :) ...Anyway, here is Chapter 46 guys :)

Liam's P.O.V

I awake to Niall, lying on my lap curled into me and smile. I'm really glad I didnt go through with my suicide. It was supposed to happen after school where I'd go home, cry then cut and hang myself with the words "You made me do this" on a note stuck onto me. I dont really know who the note would be aimed at. Mum and Dad...Zayn...Everyone? But thankfully, I live to see the day where I am happy. Well sort of. Niall's going through a rough time right now and its my turn to be there for him like he was always there for me. I could never be happy knowing the boy I love the most is going through so much pain.

Telling him yesterday was so hard to do. I could see the hurt in his eyes when I told him that the day we met was supposed to be my last day and just knew, he was trying to picture life without me. I was a bit shocked when he burst out crying and grabbed me tightly, hugging me. I guessed it was to prove that I didnt leave, that I am still here or whether he thought I was going to dissapear on him.

I've had to see and be through a lot of painful things like my dad's beating, losing my dear little sister,  Zayn's harsh words, nearly being killed but nothing hurt me more than seeing the only person I love, crying on my lap because of the thought of losing me. I love him so much. He is litterally the only person I care about that is alive. I of course love my little sister, always have and always will. I figured I should stop blaming myself for something I didnt know I did. I didnt mean to kill her, it wasn't my intention. I was just a kid who was bored, I didnt know all that would happen.

I love her, I still do even if she left me to be where she belongs. She truly looked like an angel so it isnt any suprise that she is looking down at me now, smiling. I know she doesnt hate me, she isnt like that. She was always so loving, even when we fought she would come and give me a flower and a big hug and tell me she was sorry even if it was my fault. Every night, she gave me a kiss on the cheek and a hug and told me that she loved her big brother.

I feel my tears fall down my face and I let them. It's all coming back to me. Everything I painful removed from my brain because it hurt too much to think about. I banished every memory of her out of my brain. I miss her so much. I miss her cute little frilly dresses she loved dressing up in, I miss the way she would make me sit down on a chair and do my makeup or else she would cry and seeing her cry was heartbreaking so I let her. I looked like a complete clown but it was worth it seeing her giggling and smiling at me. God I miss those days.

I miss the way she'd go out into the garden and make me a daisy chain crown for me to wear and we'd play prince and princess out the back with our pretend tea party. A few boys in my school who lived close seen me one day and I got teased a lot for wearing a flower crown and having tea partys at the age of 8. I didnt care though, as long as my little sister was happy so was I.

"Liam, are you okay?" Niall says, wiping my tears from my face. I look down at him and nod. I manage a small smile at him before connecting my lips with his. He kisses back slowly. I pull away resting my forehead against his. "I'm okay Ni, just thinking of my sister" I say, whispering the end because I'm too afraid to say it out loud. "Oh babe, don't cry. It wasn't your fault, I told you this before." Niall says, quickly hugging me. I bury my face into his neck and hold him closer. "I know, it's just I'm thinking back on memories that I made myself forget when she.." I can't finish my sentence. It hurts too much.

Niall seems to understand though because he nods and rubs my back. I let out a few deep breathes before pulling away from Niall. "You alright now?" Niall says, his hands on my face rubbing away the tear marks I left. I nod, pecking his lips. "Yeah, I'm good. I know I told you that we would go to Denise's but can we go later? I just want to rest." I ask Niall, who smiles sadly at me. "Of course babe, come on. Let's go to bed." Niall says, getting up. I'm about to stand up but Niall pushes me down. "I want to carry you" Niall says, giving me a small smile. I return the smile and shrug my shoulders. "If you say so babe" I say and Niall comes over, giving me a kiss on the cheek before carrying me bridal style up the stairs. " I love you Niall, I hope you know that" I say, facing him on the bed. He lets out a cute, little giggle. "I know you love me Li, I love you too babe" he says, moving closer to me and snuggling into me. I smile before closing my eyes and falling asleep, holding my life in my arms.