Numb Pt.2 | Xxxtentacion [Completed]

Train Food.

It's May 18th 2018

It's been a few months and I've kept my word.

"Gekyume, mommy loves you." I say as I hold my baby boy in my arms.

He's still not old enough to walk and everything but he can still hear me and he tries to talk.

I give him to Ski because I was gonna go work in the studio for a few hours.

"Aye Jah." Ski says before I walk away.

I stop and ask, "Yes?"

"I don't see Jacqui anymore, I think that spell is gone now." Ski says with a frown. "I haven't seen her for a month now."

"Same, it hurts. But that's just how it is. We gotta let go, even when we don't want to. Letting go of the love of my life hurt. Stokeley, she's the mother of my baby boy. It hurt so bad, I don't wish this pain on nobody. If I were to get hurt or get locked up again, which I hope not. I'd want you to raise my baby boy for Jacqui and I." I say as I walk away and go into the studio.

"For sure." Ski slightly whispers. "Anything for you two. BUT you ain't gonna get locked up you'll raise him to respect women, you'll meet your grandchildren and all, you'll raise him to do great things."

I smiled and shut the door.

I clear my throat.

"Alright lets start writing for this album." I say to myself.

"Should I continue that 'what are you so afraid of' song? Nahhh, I'll get back to it. Lemme work on something else."

I played a beat that I had saved and started to think.

"You ever woke up on a train track? With no mother fucking clothes on? Death before your eyes, you pray to God but there ain't no response." I spit randomly to the flow.

Damn I liked that, lemme write that down.

*Hours and hours later*

Alright, lemme do this from the start.

(if you'd like just ignore this part👇🏾 it's just him rapping Train food)
I gave the instrumental a few seconds then I started, "I remember I had walked home that day. Content with all my misery. Told my self it'd get better, no clue what there was next to me. Remember there was people, walkin', talkin' in the distance. I was dressed for winter weather. But the summer rays were kissing me
I, I was lost. So I took a different path, in the distance he awaited me. Had no weapon, I'm guessing his hands were just enough for me. Was no question, I'm guessing he laughed just at the sight of me. I was lost. I remember I had walked home that day. Content with all my misery. Told my self it'd get better, no clue what there was next to me. Remember there was people, walkin', talkin' in the distance. I was dressed for winter weather. But the summer rays were kissing me. I, I was lost. And there he was, his presence was alarming. As he approaches casual, we talk 'bout self-harming. He told me "kid, you shouldn't be walkin' on your own." He smiled and laughed, and pat my back. He said, "how far are you from home?" I said, "maybe 30 minutes" His frequency distorted quick, I seen it in his image. I should've run right fucking there, I- 
You ever woke up on a train track? With no motherfuckin' clothes on? Death before your eyes, you prayin' to God, but ain't no response. Trying to scream for hope, just a shoulder that you can lean on. But ain't nobody coming, so you scream on. And scream on and scream on
While this evil fuck laugh at you? Train getting closer, you still surprised that he battered you.
Tears falling harder and harder, minutes get minuscule. Could've had a son or a daughter, now what you finna do? You finna die here on this train track. 'Cause clearly after death, ain't no way you can find your way back. Thinking 'bout your previous memories, going way back. All them fucking dreams 'bout the diamond chain and the Maybach. Now your time finally up. Ask yourself the final question, is you going down or up? Recollectin' all the moments that you never gave a fuck. Now it's here, death has now arrived, time's finally up."

"I like that." I hit end recording and save it as 'Train Food'.

"This song will go on skins" I say to myself.

* * *

So it's been a few weeks and all I can think about is my baby girl. I just can't stop thinking.

I hate that, that fucking spell doesn't work anymore. It was just fucking temporary, just like everything else.

Sometimes I sit in my room alone and think of all the things I could've done to save her. I should've never left her all alone in the dust. I fucked up, all because I wanted a few fucking hoes. And- and I just always thought I was a bad person, like I thought I was making her sad when we were together. But I was wrong.

"JAHSEH." Roxava yelled from downstairs.

"SOMEONE IS ON THE PHONE ASKING FOR YOU!" She added.

Damn it's 7:30 am and I'm already getting calls.