Band Of The Broken

New Jersey

I sighed, looking out the smooth glass under my fingers, watching the cars and houses fly past the window and disappear into the horizon, a blur of color vanishing into the cloudy sky, gross and contaminated with a smog gray, like a monster closing in on all that could have been beautiful. The thoughts I had pushed into the back of my mind not ten minutes ago started creeping up again as they had the whole trip. The darkness clawing its way through my sanity, and shutting me off, tearing me away from a place that could have been ...Better. Why did we have to move here? I shook my head, blew my long, black bangs out of my face, and tried to focus on the positive. Well, I thought, moving can be fun... right? I attempted a smile to help entertain the thought, but a touch of darkness, starting as a gray fogginess, crept through my consciousness, poisoning my thoughts again. Sure, it could be fun, I said silently, a sarcastic edge tarnishing my words, It could be fun, if you actually know someone living there or you are a social person! I don't ever talk to anyone. Ever. Honestly though, I can't. I always stutter because of my bad anxiety and I hate it, hate myself and hate New Jersey. Well guess what? Nobody cares. No One listened to my silent protests as my mother presented the idea to me for the first time. My wild eyes and rapid shaking of the head. The decision was made without me, as if I was unimportant, with no reason for even being alive. The place I hate most in the world, I'm moving there, fantastic. I'm half tempted to roll down the window and scream "HELP! I'M MOVING TO NEW JERSEY , HELP!" but, I remind myself, that's not true, the place I hate most in the world is me, my body and mind. I think of the dark place where nothing matters, pain and suffering are the only residents. You move in, not acknowledging its presence, all I could think of was me being bullied... again. Seeing the kids from my old school, smiling and beating me senselessly there was a pain in my ribs then back, and the lis moved on and on. My thoughts plummeted into a darkness I couldn't escape, they were making my throat close up, suffocating me. I could of screamed, but I was choking in my own fear only to pulled back to reality by a sudden stop in movement. I looked around, curious to see what was going on.

"Frank, we're here!" My mother sang looking back at me, grinning with an innocent sweetness only a mother could achieve. I was happy that she was happy there was a small purple bruises on her neck causing me to frown, but also how could she be happy? She just brought her son who tried to kill himself many times to the second most hated place in the world and her smile faltered when she noticed my frown.

"M-mom you Kn-know I-" I coughed interrupting my sentence. "I HAtE N-ew JersEy." The last part of the sentence my voice cracked. Making me hang my head back groaning in annoyance, I heard my mom snicker. I shot up and glared at her, she raised her hands in mock surrender and shook her head slightly.

"Okay, okay... now get your stuff out of the back and take it to any room you want." she smiled at me, I nodded quickly replacing my angry glare with a smirk. My mother got out of the car and started to help Dad get there own things I watched my dad closely, glaring at him, feeling a deep rage boil inside of me. I shook my head then remembered.

(Flash back!!)

I came back from school my lip was busted blood dripping out of the wound and my shoulder dislocated. There was a few cuts on my stomach blood soking my clothes, the blood left a calming feeling  the sound of it hitting the wood, cold floor it cooling on my warm skin slowly. I sighed in content and walked into the kitchen to see if there was anything worth eating, most likely not as soon as I walked in I saw my 'Dad' stabbing at my mom's neck with the but of a knife. Okay. What. The. Hell. He could of just smacked her again but no, I saw bruises already forming, I sighed quietly and snuck up behind 'Dad' and ripped the knife out of his hand and somehow managed to only get a small cut. He turned sharply and punched me in the chest knocking me down to the ground...