Demigods- A Percy Jackson Writing Competition {ONGOING}

Round 1 Entries

These are the reviews of your stories, please don't take any offense in what I say! It's constructive criticism, as I want to see you all become the best writers you can! If you haven't submitted your entry, don't stress! You still have until this Thursday to do so.

I Won't Give Up by Retro:
I really liked the idea behind it. Tying in some Solangelo is never a bad thing, right? Plus, having Will bring Nico back was a very nice touch, I loved it! Although, I did see a few grammar errors, in the title as well. Your sentences seemed a little choppy, add some more detail to them so the reader can really feel like they're in the story. It seemed to jump around with the time too, which was a little confusing. Overall, you did good! Just take your time and make it as descriptive as you can.

Valdez (BLUEEEpancakes):
First of all, can I say SHOCKER!! I literally gasped when Percy didn't die, but Leo did! The story was very nicely written, adding details that made it just that much better. The details about the camp, and previous things like Gabe and Percy's fear of drowning. My only issue was that you updated in chapters. The story wasn't completely finished when I read it, I really wanted to know why Rachel killed herself. Just for future reference, write the story in one chapter. I did see a couple of grammar errors, but not a ton. Other than that, I really liked the story.
(Added this after reading more of the story, but not the whole story) You definitely get full points for creativity. Coming up with a new Prophecy was very clever and original. But, like I said before, updating in chapters takes away from the overall story. It felt more like an actual book instead of a writing prompt. Make it more of a short story in the future (but you would be really great at writing a book too!) I found that I forgot details, and I got confused because I thought Rachel was dead...? You just overachieved with this prompt.
(After reading the whole story) It was a very unique story. I like how you killed off everyone in their own ways, not just one character. Some things didn't make sense, like the black thing that took Piper...? I really liked that part, but was a little confused. Just please in the future do only one chapter, thank you. And good job, you really outdid yourself for this entry.

Killing My Fav Character by Lily:
I loved how you started out the story. I really felt like I was there, watching it. Adding in Hazel and Frank's family was such a nice touch. Their kids really made Hazel's death that much sadder. The only things I would say would be to first have a title that pertains to the story. Something to give the reader a little glimpse as to what they're about to read. And it did seem a little cliché how Hazel died, I thought that there could've been a little more originality behind it. I didn't notice any grammar errors, yay! Your writing skills are really good, I love how descriptive you get! Great first entry.

Ragnarok by Tiggs:
This story was written beautifully, one of the best so far. I really felt like I was reading something that Rick Riordan wrote. I'm not as familiar with Magnus Chase and Alex Fierro, but it still made my heart hurt when Magnus died. That's exactly how I wanted to feel when the character died. I noticed a few grammar errors, not bad. You did a fantastic job!

Their Eternal Sleep by Ship:
Holy CRAP IM SOBBING. Your writing skills are phenomenal, really. The way you described how Annabeth was feeling, and the little details you brought in from the PJO books was amazing! I thought at first the story seemed a little slow, but then my girl Annie killed herself. Ahh! My only critiques would be to separate your paragraphs more. Like when there is dialog, make that it's own paragraph. It's easier to read when it's like that. And it was a little confusing because you didn't explain why Percy was gone. But, I saw no grammar errors, yay! Really well done!

Say Hello... by Kat:
This was exactly the type of story I was hoping for. The way Nico and Will died was truly tragic, and you did a great job of emphasizing that. It indeed made me very sad, and Will and Nico aren't even my favorite characters (I don't hate them, but my girl Piper takes the cake here folks). I loved that it was an alternate ending to the war with Gaea. The Prophecy was also a clever touch. I saw a couple of grammar errors, that's all. Great job!