Daydream's Brigade

Of vast skies and the Sun's ray's bliss,

By ironic fate it would not exist

All minds have wandered through daydream's galore

Hence, knowledge be secret forevermore

Prologue

Falling. I'm falling. No doubt. But, I do wonder. What the hell would happen if I fall into the eternal abyss. Unimaginable? Unthinkable? I can't seem to visualize... but to my best guess, it'd be awful. AWFUL in a sense that wrath is gonna be upon me. Yet, what is it really? The word AWFUL. A mere definition? How do you describe such word in a pure perspective and not only by means of hifalutin words and terms? I hear that word almost everyday, however, I can't seem to get a grasp on the essence of what it really means. Seriously, there maybe something wrong with me. But then again, there's always something wrong with everybody. If only this wasn't in a form of written sentiments, you would feel my sigh. I'm sorry if you don't get me. Most people would not. I'm weird, I KNOW. I do admit being THIS. Still, my point is that every human being in today's generation seems so judgmental, which is inhumanely human or humanly inhumane. Not the "Oh, I think he is weird, but I'm not really sure." kind of judging. As in... for real, like, "He's weird." And that's that. The end of one judgemental person's judgmental perspective. The ever so astounding conclusion to many things without even tracing the facts. The thing is, I would always hear people say "awful" referring to EVERYTHING, and that makes me think they are being very subjective. Just very very subjective to everything they see, without feeling what they see.

*THUD*

All the books that I had in my tight hugging grasp, now scattered all over the floor... with me. I felt the pain rush into my body after about 5.63 seconds of sliding my toe onto the shelf, and losing my balance that caused my skinny buttocks to touch the cold surface. And not just the pain, physically, but emotional hurt. Humiliation. I could see through my peripheral vision all the eyes sympathetically staring at me, but I knew that inside the minds of these people, they were laughing at me. No one would dare help, like I had a kind of an epidemic disease that the moment they lay a finger on me, sufferance was with them all throughout their existence. And that made me realize. That wrath was already upon me... all of us, and it was unavoidable. Technically, I didn't fall into the eternal abyss. But most certainly, I wish I had. I know I said it'd be awful. But it looks like it is the perfect way to avoid the afflicting judgments of people. I really wish I had. I'd rather be experiencing the unimaginable and unthinkable situation inside the void than the predictable misfortunes of my goddamn life.

Chapter 1: Zenneth V. Wolf

8 a.m. was the start of my Literature class. I was seated by the window and I notion about how and why everything in this world came to being unfair. Then I realized that it was just natural for the world to be unfair. Right? The wild will never think of not devouring you, just because you promised that you were not to devour the wild. The world always functioned that way. Always. But still, it seemed... wrong.

As I was exploring deeply inside my mind, a voice suddenly mumbles,

"Are you okay?" she asked. I stared at her, acknowledging the beauty before my eyes, I was unable to speak any word. Just "Uh huh." But I really didn't show my amusement. More like the "very bored" expression I always do because I think it's sorta cool to look really bored.

Although moments like this were always depicted as "special" in romantic books and movies, me talking to Sydney Violle Faust was really really normal. I know "normal" is an illusive concept, yet I choose to be fooled by it which brings conflict to my whole being.

"You seem... stressed." She whispers to me with her head on top of her desk.

"Don't I always look stressed out to you?"

"Zenneth, you're such a mystery" I didn't speak, falter or react. I never answered at all like I didn't really care, but still I wanted to deny her view of me as a mystery, 'cause everything about this world is, which was another normal thing. Then again, normality is a mystery. Meaning... EVERYTHING IS JUST SO FUCKED UP.

And then she added, "That's why I chose to be friends with you. Don't get me wrong, I'm not whoring myself out to you or anything. It's just that it's less drama, and for me that's cool. That's better" she finally lifts her head lightly, and shot me a smile. I smiled back at her making me forget about all the thoughts I have intended to deny unto her and I uttered, "Whatevs."

The thing is, I'm not the type of guy that Sydney should be with, and she wasn't the kind of girl for me. Actually, no one is. I am a geeky despising silent madman with an indefinable angst, and she was the "perfectest" girl in campus. We weren't compatible for each other as the world sees it, but somehow we were friends. I am not sure why. I don't know.

When I met Sydney, I didn't meet her. She agreed upon herself, eventually forcing me into it, that we introduced ourselves to each other, but we didn't really. She introduced herself to me... and I am a victim of a paper thief. It was the first day of classes and we were about to have a post test in this boring subject I barely care about passing or failing, and just like magic, my paper WITH MY FUCKING NAME ON IT disappears. And I had to like semi-socialize to acquire another paper again. After the test, this alluring young lady (but not looking innocent) approached me and said, "Thanks Zenneth"

At that moment I was baffled, but for a few seconds I came to realize the truth behind my beloved paper's mystical disappearance, as well as how this complete stranger knew my name right on the first day of school. It's probably obvious by now.

The bell rang signaling the end of a whole day's period of attending this hellish academic system, or simply called as school. Sydney did what she always had done after class. Annoy me. She was annoying and irritating, if i must be honest, but I wasn't troubled by that. In fact, I feel privileged to be annoyed by her.

I found myself dining with SVF at this famous pizza parlor that I wasn't quite familiar of, which manifests its failure to be completely popular... or, on the other hand. I may just be very ignorant.

She asked me to accompany her and savor the food at this particular place.

We ordered, or rather, she ordered a Hawaiian slash Pepperoni slash New York's finest flavored pizza food thingy.

I've been hanging out with Sydney for a long time now, and I could say that she has a really grand appetite. Whenever we were together after class, she would have clenched within her hand an ice cream, or a burger, or a taco, or chocolates or anything that is primarily composed of "cholesterolic" dread and diabetes itself. She just love food so much, especially pizza. She's the Polyphemus of ancient pizza people impending their lives and devouring them tiny pizza beings. She eats of an abundance... but she is thin. She is beautiful. She is... perfect. And that's mysterious. She is mysterious. She's the great mystery I have yet to decide of solving.

After that I went straight home and did whatever an ordinary sane teenage human boy would do. I bathed, dressed to sleep, surfed the internet, played console games, ate chips and coke and candy and yawned for like 32 times. And then it was time for my slumber, but I couldn't sleep. Not without thinking why Sydney and I met in the first place, when there wasn't really a formal introduction. There had to be some sort of purpose, or fate. Not without thinking why the universe had gifted me this life as a responsible. Not without thinking about why I am alive and the significance of my existence in this world.

Chapter 2: The Princess and The Faust