I Can't Live Without You [BoyXBoy]

Chapter 1

Gently, ever so gently, he brushes the hair from my face. His grey eyes lock onto my brown eyes, the intensity of his stare is too hard to break so I quit trying. He intertwines our fingers and flips his dyed black hair out of his eyes. I remember when it was blonde. It was so light and gorgeous; the change to black was striking. Of course, it looks amazing on him. Anything would look amazing on him.

"Gabriel," he says to me. His voice is that of an angle. I glance at his lips, knowing that all I want is one kiss, if that's not too much to ask. But I swallow my hopes. It's wrong, so wrong to feel this way towards him. I shouldn't want a kiss; I shouldn't get butterflies in my stomach when he's near. My heart shouldn't beat harder, quicker, louder when he touches me. 

"Yes?" It comes out in no more than a whisper. Can this be the moment? The moment where my fears and hopes come true at the same time and he kisses me? At the thought my breathing picks up and I focus hard to control it. 

"I..." He stops himself and looks at my front door. Standing here, hand in hand on my front porch, we are so vulnerable. All it will take will be for my father to open the door. My life will be over. Any hopes I'll have of ever seeing Alex again will be crushed. But if it means he'll kiss me, be it just a small peck, it's a risk I'm willing to take. Can he be thinking the same thing? 

Looking back at me, Alex starts again. "Gabe, I kind of really like you. A lot." 

A slow smile makes its way to my lips. Taking this as a good sign, which it is, he continues, looking straight into my eyes. "I love you." 

"I love you, too." There is no hesitation in my words; I know them to be true. For so long they have been waiting in the back of my lungs, praying for the day when they get to be spoken. 

Alex searches my eyes, and seeing only the truth he smiles slightly. He releases me but places both hands on my lower back, pulling me closer. Not knowing where else to put them, I place my hands on his shoulders. I look up into his eyes, only two inches above mine. This feels so good, but I know it can get better. He leans down and I close my eyes, my heart beating so loud and hard I'm sure he can hear it. 

His lips brush mine in a soft peck and an electric shock rolls through me. He pulls away, but I smile and tangle my fingers in hair, gently guiding him back to my lips. The distance between our bodies is hardly an inch, but it seems like a mile. I place my chest against his, wanting to touch every part of him. 

If being gay is a sin, then I'll worship the devil because this just feels so right. I realize how much I really do love Alex, how much I really need him. I deepen the kiss, turning my head this way and that just to get closer to him. This is my first real kiss and I have no idea what I'm doing. I just know that it feels good. 

A knob turns and before I have time to break the kiss my front door is open. There's nothing I can do now, I know that my dad has already seen what he needs to see. Alex's lips leave mine, knowing that we're both just players in my homophobic father's dangerous game. I untangle my fingers from Alex's hair quickly and we both take a large step away from each other, even though the distance hurts. I look to the door and a sigh of relief leaves my chest.

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