Worst Nightmare || Grayson

1.

I walked down the alley, the street lights creating a dim atmosphere, an atmosphere I was extremely familiar with, one that was a very important part of my lifestyle and my way of living.
I saw them, standing in the corner, next to the dumpster, our regular meet up spot. As i got nearer to them, my walking pace sped up as the blood rushed faster through my veins due to my excitement.

"Got my package?" I smiled, holding out my hand to greet the two guys.
"Of course, bud." Tom laughed, as he began rummaging through his back pack then handing me a package.
I looked around, taking in our surroundings to make sure we were the only one's there, before handing over the cash.
"I'll call you when I'm done." I said as I turned and walked away.

I gained an instant adrenaline rush, I had been waiting for this for so long. As I thought about what I was going to do, I realized how much I had actually missed it.

I was always the popular kid, who had the best grades, and alot of respect for the people around me. But then I finished school, life got tough, and I became soft. The drugs became easy to get and easy to afford, the only difficult part of it was hiding it from every one, especially my twin brother. Eventually I met a girl, Cara, who changed everything, she made me better again. But now... We are going through a rough patch, and at the moment I cant handle the pressure. I needed a rush, an adrenaline rush, something to make me feel good again, to feel better about myself and about life.

I opened the front door, headed to the bathroom, opened the package and smiled widely. Its time.
I cut the package open with a blade, and the familiar scent escaped into the air.
The thing that my life used to revolve around, cocaine.
I emptied a bit onto the counter, and eagerly used the blade to separate it into lines. My smile grew wider and wider. I leaned over and began to sniff each line. Each time I could feel the blood rushing through my veins, faster, my blood got warmer, my eyes grew larger, and that was when I knew, I needed this.

I heard the front door unlock, Cara. I quickly cleaned up, washed my face and hid everything behind the toilet, and opened the bath room door, and just stared at her.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she looked at me with a confused look on her face.
"Nothing, why would you even ask?" I smiled, walked over to her and kissed her cheek, greeting her.
"Why are you acting weird, what have you been up to?"
"Nothing, I was just wondering why you got home so late." I replied.

She had already told me that she had to work late, but I didn't know what else to say, I just didn't want her to suspect something.

"I had to work late, remember?" She rolled her eyes.
"Oh yeah, sorry."

She's so innocent, a church girl might I add, and I go an do all of this to her. She's done nothing but help me, be there for me and make me happy, then I went and cheated on her. She found out, and that is how our 'rough patch' started. The fact that she's still with me, means so much, but also makes me wonder why she stayed, even after I've hurt her so much. Then again, they say that the longest and strongest relationships take a lot of forgiving, well maybe she is trying to forgive me, I guess I won't know. The problem with me is that I probably won't even try and find out either, especially now that I have my old friend back in my life.

"Why does it seem like your head is far up in the clouds?" Cara touched my arm and looked deeply into my eyes, as if she cared.
"Maybe because it is?" I answered sarcastically.
"Why are you acting so weird?" she backed off.
"You are, not me." I got up and walked to the bedroom, laid on the bed staring at the ceiling.

She has issues.

No she doesn't.

That's the coke talking, I had been clean for almost a year, and my body wasn't used to the feeling again, it felt weird because it was as if my brain was talking to, and answering itself.

Cara stormed in and stood at the edge of the bed staring at me.

"All I have ever done is forgive you for hurting me, yet I let you do it over and over again." A tear slid down her rosy cheeks.
"Come here." I grabbed her wrist and tugged at her, for her to come and lay by me.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what has gotten into me." I lied, knowing exactly what was going on.
All that was going through my head, was that I couldn't let her find out, no matter what happens, she's too good to be hurt again.

The problem is, now that I've started again, there's no stopping.

The thrill gave me a feeling that nothing else could, and that feeling was beyond amazing.
I was afraid, that now, absolutely no one was going to stop me. Not this time.

Not even Cara.