This story is about a girl losing the person she regretfully rejected to another.
Joelle's POV
How are you? It's been two years, I missed you. You look different from the last time I saw you, I mean you look great. More beautiful actually. Your hair is back into your Long wavy hair before you cut it short, you're a little taller and your smile is sweeter then it is. Your happy to see me, so am I.
We hug each other tightly and squeal in excitement. You're eyes sparkle like the stars that light up the night sky like they used to every time I look at you. We chatted like how a junior and senior would do, but this time, it felt different.
It doesn't feel how a chat should be. I see a tint of hurt your eyes.
Are you still hurt?
Your friends say hi to me, but I could tell it was an awkward one. I wonder why.
You've matured, you're responsible to your juniors and your a leader. I'm so proud of you. You've grown well, very well.
The band is preparing for a performance and the conductors called me back to help out our section. Seeing you again had an aching feeling in my heart, you were so happy to see me but, I could see a tint of sadness.
I'm sorry, I really am. I didn't mean to hurt you, I didn't felt at that point of time, but as time passes by, it grew and I regret it. We had a great time with the section, the juniors were so weird but that was us too then.
I had to play the drum set for the performance and you were listening to me. There was just the two of us in the room since the juniors went to the toilet for their break.
"It's been awhile since you played the drum set,I miss seeing you being cool," you chuckled softly.
"Well I am and always cool you know," I said as I twirled the drum stick with my fingers.
You playfully rolled your eyes and I stare.
How long as it been since I've seen that typical rolling of eyes you always do? I miss seeing it.
It was silent then. You look upset so I asked.
"Hey what's bothering you?" I raised an eyebrow as you look up from fiddling with your fingers. You huffed before responding.
"Well you're here. I am happy to see you back but..." you bit your lip.
Then there it is again, that pang feeling in my heart seeing you in this state. I took a deep breath.
"I didn't know you'll still be thinking abo-"No I haven't. I'm over it, don't worry. It just brings back the memories..." you look down to your toes.
My heart keeps sinking deeper into my chest as I see your sorrowful face. I didn't want to come back to let this happen, I wanted to have a good time with you again, to see you again but this is happening.
"I-"No it's okay, d-don't apologise, it's in the past... ugh I'm sorry for randomly bringing up this topic," you rub your temples and sigh deeply. I say there quietly, figuring out how to fix this tension between us.
I was about to say something when the juniors came back. Elana, who's now Sec3, waved at me as came up to the both of us. I waved back. She then turned to you and asked,
"Hey, are you going to see him later after practice?"
Him?
Crimson pink appears on your face as you smile and nod at her. She giggled as she shook your arm and start squealing. You asked her to shush and go back to her sticking exercises. She wiggles her eyebrows and you threatened her, "You better do your stickings or I'll ask you to run five rounds at the parade square."
Elana whines but obeyed you anyways and you chuckled at her childish behaviour. Sigh, reminds me of the good old times we had, I wish it could be like that again.
But it can't.
Time flies by fast and so will us, we'll drift apart slowly.
We continued to practice till our time is up, but all I could think was what your junior had said, who is He?
A friend? A boy...friend? Who is He?
After our band practice was over, you quickly kept every instrument and tell your juniors instructions on completing their band homework by Thursday. I see
The way you instruct them and it reminded on how we were back then and I smiled at that memory. Everyone was already leaving, I was waiting for you to finish your duties.
You were shocked that I waited for you, and it was unusual for me to do.
"Let's go," I say.
You nodded and we walked together out of the school. As soon as we step out of the school gate, i noticed a tall, with a dark-like-chocolate skin and messy black haired boy dressed in a yellow and black striped shirt and black leather jeans. He's blasting music into his ears and it's obvious he's listening to "Ocean Eyes"by Ellie Billish. Your eyes glow up the minute you saw him, and it's the exact same enchanting eyes whenever you you look at me those times.
I suddenly felt hurt. I felt hurt that you're giving this guy the exact same eyes that were only meant for me and I have no idea why.
You giggled as you snatched his earpieces off and plugged them into your ears. He was surprised at first but then smiled softly as he pauses the song and takes the earpieces off your ears.
"I'm sorry I'm late, I had to attend to my duties,"you explained.
"Nah it's fine, no worries," he ruffles your hair and notices my presence.
"Hello, are you her friend?" He asks me as he took out his hand for a handshake. I took it and smiled, "No, I'm her senior, Joelle and who might you be?"
"Hi Joelle, my name's Zack. I'm her boyfriend," he says proudly as he intertwines your fingers with his.
I make an "o" shape and nodded as I look at you but you look away. So, this is Him.
"How Long have you two been together?" I asked out of curiosity and you start to fidget with the hem of your skirt.
"About a year now, our anniversary is today actually," he says as he gives a peck on you head and you turn crimson red. I nod my head and congratulated the both of you. You look at me with guilt but try to stay calm. I decided not to interfere with your date that you seem to be going to and go home to finish up projects I have on my desk waiting for me.
"Nice knowing you Zack, please take good care of her, she's a rare gem to find this world." I advised him. He nodded vigorously and smiled cheekily, "Yes ma'am!"
I turn my attention back to you and your eyes are glossy. I smiled softly and gave you a hug, a hug that was meant to be given two years back but was forgotten after It happened.
My shirt is now wet with your tears, your sniffing so much and shaking uncontrollably in my arms as I tighten my hug on you. I hate seeing you cry, my heart can't take the sadness I see on your face. "Its okay, don't worry about me, don't feel bad, it was my fault. Please smile for me, that's all I want from you. You look prettier when you smile, don't cry,"I cooed into your ear and you start to cool down and mumbled a 'thank you' to me. I have a light peck on your cheek as you continued to sob.
We broke the space between us and I can see that your eyes are now red and puffy. Shit, I feel responsible for this, I ruined your pretty face for your anniversary date. Zack is now worried, but you brushed him off saying that you missed me. I wonder though, do You miss me?
Zack wipes off the tears that are staining your cheeks; I wish it were me.
We bid goodbye and part our ways. I turn to get a glance of you again, and I see his arm wrapped around your waist as you both laugh and talk about your day. My cheeks felt wet all of a sudden, I was crying. Seeing you happy is enough for me, but I wanted that happiness you had with him, for me. Can't you see I'm that selfish? I want you all for myself, but it's too late now, right? I lost the opportunity I had two years back then, so this is what I deserve as punishment.
I'm sorry for hurting your feelings back then, making you cry silently through the rough nights you had and getting your hopes high by thinking I was making you feel special when I wasn't, and I'm deeply sorry for my actions. Time made me realise these feelings I had for you, was real and how special you actually are to me. I made a bad decision back then. I hope you could forgive me, oh how I so wish to turn back time to fix the mistake I've made. I still remember vividly what you told me before I graduated that day,
"I got let you know that I need let you go,
Hard to say goodbye,
But I can't run,
I'm ready to Let Go,"
You were smiling brightly but at that time, it was different, your face smiled but not your eyes. You had to do this, you couldn't bare any longer to be hurt. I respected your decision but, my heart didn't felt right then. We both thought it was best for you, and continued to chat like the rejection never happened in the first place. It was wrong of me not to talk to you wether you were alright after the rejection but me being me, I was shy on talking it out and I know it was selfish of me to not think how you feel. I'm so sorry I didn't comfort you two years back and pretend that nothing happened, I'm so sorry, Jade.
Though I have to admit, my heart aches a little after losing something that wasn't even mine. It's You. I wish I didn't lose you two years back, I missed that vibrant laughter and sweet smile I used to see every time I get a glance of it in the hallways and during Band practice. But I can't do anything, it's karma for me I Guess, heh. I'll just have to accept it and just Let Go...
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Hey guys!! How's my first story? Hope it's not too bad, if there's any grammar mistakes or spelling error do feel free to comment but no hates please!! Feel free to drop by any questions that you wanna ask me about, also give me suggestions on what possible scenarios that could/would happen in real life. In the mean time, have great day everyone!!:)
