The Fake Smile He Wears

Chapter 14

Sorry for the crappy writing once again! I've been having this habit of not writing till Saturday, because I'm too lazy and tired from school, plus I've been drawing a lot lately. I've just been more tired and lazy. I've been listening to APH chorus, you should check it out on YouTube, I think it's a great channel, too bad they haven't uploaded in a year. Now onto the story!
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"Kiku, you've always done so much for me, more than I've probably ever done for you. You may not know it, but you've done a lot for me. A lot. I don't know when I'll repay you and everyone here. Maybe I will, maybe not. Who knows? But, Kiku you were one of the few people, who I felt like I could rely on, who I felt actually cared about me. You made yourself vulnerable for me, of all people, that takes a lot of courage, courage, I lost long ago. You did that for me, and no one had ever done that for me. You made me feel special for the first time in forever. I feel like I mean something in this world. I don't know how long it'll take for me to find the ability to forgive myself, for all the things I've done. But maybe you're right, maybe, if we work together we can all find it. All of us. You may not know this Kiku, but you opened a lot of people's eyes to a new path of redemption, and forgiveness. You opened a new path, for those who have been lost for so long. Many of us here have been lost for centuries, thanks Kiku for opening that path up for us, sometimes the most simplest things, are so hard for us to realize. A lot of people are blind to the possibilities that exist, even countries like us, still can't see all of our possibilities, and futures, even with all of the things we have to go through, the things we experience, open our eyes, little, by little, as we realize what this world, really is. Sometimes, the things that open our eyes, can be as simple as words, you opened my eyes to the possibilities and futures I have, and I'm sure you opened others too, even now, I know that our eyes will never fully open, but the more possibilities I see, the more I realize, that there is more than one possible future for me. That, maybe, just maybe everything will change, that maybe I'll be happy too. I used to hope that, maybe one day the world I knew, the cold, harsh world, would maybe, just maybe, change. That, maybe I'll be a bit happy. Now I feel like it might be possible, just maybe. My pessimistic views on the world, made it hard for me to believe in such things like a possible happy future for this world, and it's people. The world we know is dying, and I just can't help but think that, we can't come back from this. But, slowly the people who once changed my outlook on the world, the people who pushed to the brink, is now pulling me back in, and changing my outlook once more, in the first time in awhile, I feel a bit hopeful, that we can turn everything around. You know, I often tell others the words I wanted, no needed, to hear, Kiku, you and everyone else here, finally said those words. The words I've been waiting to hear, for centuries, that I could redeem myself. That I had a chance. I wanted to thank you guys. All of you, not just Kiku. You've all done a lot of bad things, but don't we all? We all make mistakes, and I know that all of you are just trying to fix your mistakes. I try to do that a lot. But, thanks everyone, for opening my eyes a little. Even if it seems small, you all did a lot more than what it appears to be. You've all done more than what I can ever repay. Thanks. There isn't really anyway to properly put this all into words, but thanks. I would really want to go on this journey, with all of us." America spoke, his voice was soft, but his words carried a big message. He didn't really blink either, he was trying his hardest to keep in the tears, the tears that would fall as he wiped his face with his already wet sleeve. He barely moved or shifted, as he spoke, he was struggling to continue, as his energy began to deplete, but he had to tell them. If he didn't now, who knows when he will. He would regret it if he didn't tell them. The words he had inside him for the past two days or so. He already knew the feeling of regret, the words he didn't say, the words he could've said. So many words he wish he said. So many. He felt a warm hand on his shoulders and looked up, to see Feli, standing there with a cheerful smile. He couldn't help, but smile too. Feli's smile was extremely contagious.