The ISIS man looked at me in despair.
"I didn't want to have to do this McLaklee, but it looks like we're going to have to waterboard you"
"Oh my goodness ISIS man, that's so kind of you guys! I have a friend who for his vacation with his friends from Mexico went waterboarding in Guantanamo Bay! He said it was an unforgettable experience"
"McLaklee, everyone has their own interests and passions, and here at ISIS, we try to be as accepting of others' beliefs as we can"
I was so glad to hear that unlike my mother and her abusive ways, my father's business was such a progressive and inclusive community.
"But I don't think you're going to like being waterboarded"
"What do you mean, ISIS man?"
"Waterboarding is a form of torture, McLaklee"
That was weird, ISIS didn't seem like the group of people do that. But I knew that some people were very hard to persuade and that they were just doing what they had to in order to keep their power and continue the progression of the Islamic State.
"Then is there anything I can do to not be waterboarded?"
"You'll need to make some sort of contribution to ISIS if you don't want us to torture you"
"I don't know what to do! I don't have any talents whatsoever" I complained.
"Well, we have some more entry-level positions available if you'd be interested. We have an opening for a Twitter manager, it's a low-commitment position"
"That sounds really great, can 1D and I and go to the cattle ranch in Minnesota now?" I asked, pushing my golden hair away from my broken but still beautiful blue eyes.
"Of course!" said the ISIS man and then ISIS gave us a helicopter ride to Minnesota and the key to Damascus, capital of Syria.
YOU ARE READING
I was sold to One Direction
RomanceI always knew my mother didn't love me, but I never thought she'd stoop so low as to sell me. Especially, to them...
