I was sold to One Direction

Ranching

When we landed on the cattle ranch, the ISIS man gave me the password to the ISIS Twitter account and I put the key to the city in my pocket. Then the helicopter flew away at a speed of 66642069km/h.

Nyelle jumped out of the helicopter and got mad cow disease upon landing on the ground of the ranch.

I ran up to him, we pushed each other's flaxen hair out of each other's aquamarine eyes before he died.

I vowed to avenge him and posted a selfie on ISIS' Twitter of me crying so that the FBI would be able to empathize with the group and so the American government would stop taking our oil. But the ISIS man who offered to waterboard me facetimed me and told me that I shouldn't post pictures of myself of American soil so I took it down.

I noticed that Leeeeeem was looking hungrily at Niell's corpse and I took him inside to the barn so he wouldn't have to deal with the death of his friend outside. When we gathered in the barn, we met Jillian, who went to high school with Liaiam from 1927 to 1931 and helped him invent the sport of basketball!

"Well y'all folks, welcome to my ranch in Minnesota" gruffed Jillian, whose honest country roots shone through her rough-and-tumble accent and tanned forearms.

"What do you farm here?" asked Hayreeh, examining the barrels inside the barn.

I looked over at Lyahm, who already seemed much happier to have met up with Jillian again, but deep down I knew that I was the love interest, because I was now the only person alive with blonde hair and sparkling ocean eyes.

"This here ranch is a cashew farm disguised as a cattle ranch in order to hide from the prying eyes of the meat industry" grumbled Jillian

"Why would you need to hide from the meat industry?" I asked

"They can never find me" said Jillian, as an orchestra began to play a haunting chord somewhere and somehow.

"What do you do with the cashews you farm here?" asked Zéne, as the sunlight illuminated his eyes that weren't blue and thus weren't as nice as mine, but he was still a major character.

"Y'all see," she said, "Here we try to make a more sustainable way of making milk that has nutritional value and less of a carbon footprint"

"That's really interesting," I pretended, but I was really holding back tears because my mom sold her car for a nutter butter juul pod but I didn't say anything because my time in ISIS had hardened me emotionally.

As the sun set on the fake cattle ranch with real mad cow disease, we all got our blankets from urban outfitters and still slept on hay stacks because I wanted to feel more at one with nature.