Heartbeats

2.

The rest of the day was pure torture for Remus.
Sirius was flirting with Marlene all the time, with Moony standing right next to them.
He got to the breaking point when Sirius and Marlene walked into the great hall for dinner. Holding hands.

When Remus saw this he broke down. His hands started trembling and his face went all white. He felt sick. And it hurt like hell.
His heartbeat took a dangerous pace.
Ba-Bam-Ba-Bam-Ba-Bam-Ba-Bam

This should be HIM holding Sirius' hand!

"Re!"
Lily's voice shook him out of his thoughts.
"Remus! Are you alright? Hey, Re, I'm talking to you!"

Remus told himself to keep calm.
Ba-Bam, Ba-Bam, Ba-Bam.
"Yeah, fine!"
But the moment he'd opened his mouth, his walls broke away and tears were streaming down his cheeks.

"Sorry."
He stood up and walked straight out of the hall, leaving his friends behind at the table.
He made his way through the deserted floors up to the Gryffindor tower.
Everyone was at dinner.

When the fat lady saw the crying boy coming up to her, she didn't even bother asking for the password before opening.
She knew this poor thing for five years now and witnessed a lot of tragedy in his life. When Remus Lupin was crying, he shouldn't have to say anything to get inside safe walls.

The tall boy ran up the stairs to the dormitory, fell onto his bed and buried his face in his pillow.

Why did he even cry? This was nothing compared to his furry little problem. It was just a crush. Just a little jealousy. He was going through worse every single month and never did he cry.
Why did he feel so betrayed?
And where did all this pain come from?
He needed to stop crying!

But the more he told himself so, the more tears soaked his pillow.
He felt like falling.
Falling on and on into a deep black hole.
Over and over again.
All things he usually smiled away came back to him in this moment.
Shaky sobs escaped his throat and he didn't notice the presence of another person in the room until he felt someone sitting down at the end of his bed.

Dam, Da-Dam, Da-Dam.

It was Pete's heartbeat.
"I brought you some chocolate!"
Remus felt the sudden urge to hug the caring boy.
For minutes they just sat there, holding each other, until he stopped sobbing and there were no more tears left to cry.

Peter let go of Remus and held up a bar of his favorite chocolate.

"Thanks!"
They both knew this wasn't just for the chocolate.

Remus was grateful that Wormtail was there for him. No questions. Just sitting by his side.

"I'm so weak. Crying because of nothing."

"No, you're not! You're strong! Very strong! I'd dare say stronger than everyone of us! You lived through so many cruel and terrible things. And you don't even ever complain about anything. You're going through so much pain every moon but when you wake up in the hospital wing next morning, all you want to do is standing up and going to class. You're fighting every day of your life. Sometimes it's just all too much. And then you're allowed to cry. If somebody has a reason to, then it's you. Because you suffer a lot. And sometimes you just need to let it out or the pain will get worse. You're strong, Moony, strong by heart!"

"Okay." Remus didn't know what else to say. After a while the two of them went down to the common room. Pete's words (and the chocolate of course) had done a great job.

"No Marlene, not now! I need to talk to him!"
"So you care more about his feelings than mine?"
"And what if I do? What if I don't give a damn about you? What if I only kissed you because I like him but I just CANNOT tell ANYONE about it?"

There was a slap sound heard and angry footsteps running up to the girls dorms.
Remus couldn't think straight.
Did Sirius just dump Marlene because of HIM? He shared a look with Peter. The smaller boy continued his way down to the common room and met Sirius at the lowest step. They whispered something but Remus didn't catch a word of it.

A few seconds later Sirius nodded and walked towards him while Peter settled down on a chair in the common room.
Remus eyes were fixed on a boring ornament on the floor, which suddenly seemed to be very interesting.
"'You okay?"
He shrugged, not really trusting his own voice.
"Pete told me you two overheard everything."

Silence.

"Please talk to me, Moons! Look at me, please!"

Slowly Remus raised his head and fixed the other boy with his gaze.

Ba-Da-Dum, Ba-Da-Dum, Ba-Dum.

His unsteady heartbeat told him that Sirius was truly concerned about him.

"Did you mean what you said?"
They both knew what he meant.

For a short moment there was silence again.
Then Sirius finally opened his mouth to answer,

"I'll tell you if you tell me."

Remus sighed before he complied hesitantly.
"It's just....I-I-I don't know...guess everything just got to much...or something."
Padfoot hugged him.
"You know you can talk to me. About anything and everything. I'm always here for you."

"I know, Pads!"

The taller boy started to relax a little and Sirius let go of him.

"Well, I guess I have to let that count. My turn now."

Ba-Bam, Ba-Bam, Ba-Bam.
Sirius seemed to get even more nervous.

"I did! I meant every single word of it!"
He held his breath.

"I fancy you!"

Suddenly all the weariness and sadness faded. His own Heartbeat increased and a small smile lit up his face, alongside a dark red blush.

"Prove it", Remus challenged.
"W-What?",
Sirius let out a confused stutter.

"Kiss me!"

Padfoot didn't have to be told twice.
He reached forward, his handsome face and these beautiful lips getting closer and closer to Remus'.
Then he couldn't take it any longer.
He closed the gap between them with a last step towards him and leaned into the taller boy, pressing his mouth onto the other boy's.
Remus melted into it.
His hands around Sirius' neck while Padfoot's were on his hips, pulling their body's even closer to each other.
And their heartbeats finally became one.

When they broke apart eventually, Moony whispered,

"I want to be the only one ever holding your hand again!"

A huge smile spread over Sirius face.

"Promised!"

And their lips met again. It was the first kiss they shared and hundreds were about to follow.

Ba-Dum...Ba-Dum...Ba-Dum...Ba-Dum...

I didn't mean to make it this depressing, really!

Thanks for reading.
If you want to read more wolfstar oneshots visit my profile.

-N