Not All Sunshine And Rainbows

Background/Prelude thing

Hey so I wrote out a few chapters for this story a while ago, but I stopped following the plot I wanted and got really disinterested in the book. That made me hate it and stop writing it, and then, eventually, delete it. Now I'm in a place where I have more time to write and develop characters so I thought I'd start it up again from the beginning and do it right this time. I probably won't leave many author's notes like this so don't worry itll be strictly book. Also I'm getting rid of Eli's previous character, he sucked, but there will still be a character named Eli, he just will have a different arc. And I'm redoing stuff with David.

Phew ok that was a lot.

Anyways, if you read what was up before I deleted it, you've probably read this chapter. It was one I originally wrote as chap 1 but rewrote, then uploaded as an extra. Now I've decided it's a nice little prelude thing so ya. I guess its still not chapter 1 but it's closer than before and an official part of the book, so yay.

I'll be uploading every other week. If you're reading my other book, Like Rain and Wind and Summer, then on the weeks I don't update that book I'll update this one. Normally (AKA not today) I'll upload on saturdays or sundays or at the latest monday. 

Enjoy, and please consider leaving a vote or comment if you like it. It helps me stay engaged and makes me feel more confident about my writing. Any feedback is good feedback.

This prelude is dedicated to one of my best friends who is amazing and awesome and deserves recognition. check her out at undertaleshiper1259.

~Aries_OO1✌️

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Eric was 12 when he went to his first pride. He watched in awe at all the colors and all the people free to be themselves. The meanings of the multicolored flags escaped him, but he knew what they meant to the people waving them. His parents weren't so understanding, but they weren't against it either. They were simply indifferent, not caring about the outcome of the somewhat silent war over marriage equality and bathroom rights. Today Eric was with his best friend Jake. Jake was questioning. He was in a weird place between knowing he wasnt straight and knowing what he was. In fact, Jake wasnt even sure if he was a he. For now Eric used they and them to comfort his friend and support them as they figured themselves out.

At that pride Eric saw so many wonderful things but one incident that was not so wonderful. Jake was walking around talking to people, most were friendly and understanding when they asked what Jake's sexuality was and listened when Jake explained what greygender was. They were kind and nice and they warmed Eric's and Jake's hearts. It wasnt all sunshine and rainbows though, a couple people walked up to Jake while they were roaming the parade and asked him about himself. These people were not taking part in pride though, they were protesting it. Jake spoke softly telling them the same things that had been explained to others before. These people, these two straight white guys, they had a different reaction though. They started yelling derogatory terms at Jake, at a 12 year old, they asked him what was wrong with "him", they asked how had his parents failed him. Jake looked at Eric, tears on the brim of spilling out onto his face. Eric was so hurt by this, he kicked one of the guys (I bet you can guess where) and then he ushered Jake away into a crowd of people they had seen before.

Soon after another fight occurred, this time a kid Eric's age had seen them and said the same hurtful things that the protestors had. Eric's reaction was the same and so was Jake's, but before anything serious could happen some drag queens stopped the fight and escorted the other boy, David, to some standby paramedics.

After this Eric started thinking about his own sexuality, his own gender. He thought about it constantly, mentally slapping himself when he realized there was nothing to question.

He had decided. He was a straight, cis, guy. That was the social norm, so that's what he was. Jake would catch him checking guys out or writing about gay relationships, but Eric refused to admit he relished those thoughts. That he romanticized them because he knew his parents wouldn't care, because it was ok for everyone except him to be gay. Eric refused to admit the reason he watched lgbt youtubers and listened intently was because he wished it was ok for him to feel that way. He claimed it was because he was an ally and wanted to be informed. Eric went by other names on games and pretended to be a girl so he could flirt with guys, but if you asked he would say, "It just seemed like a funny prank," and then he'd shrug.

Eric was always mad at himself.

Eric had cuts and burns on his arms that looked like stripes they were so plentiful.

At pride he had only learned one thing that stuck in his mind forever, I wish I could tell you it was that love wins. He learned that being different, being unique, was looked at by society as being wrong. He decided that day as pastors glared at his best friend, in their gay pride gear and their glitter covered hair, that he would defend Jake till the end.

He also had his first queer crush, a fact he was hesitant to admit.

A fact that started the cutting.

For Eric it was a way of punishing himself for thinking the way he did. He couldn't, he wouldn't, be gay. It wasnt ok for him. Jake tried to stop all of it, the dysphoria with life, the cutting, the burning, everything. There was only so much Jake could do though. Soon his best friend, his protector, was all but gone.

That is, outside of school. By the time Jake knew about any of this Eric and them were in high school. Eric was on the football team, Jake teased him about it constantly but Jake did basketball. Eric was a completely different person at school. He was upbeat and happy. He talked to everyone and was nice regardless of who you were. If there was a problem, you went to him. Nobody knew his mind was so dark and that he thought about the distance between the schools roof and its sidewalk so frequently. Nobody saw the sadness hidden behind his eyes. They took him for granted.

Eric only acted sad at school once. It was one time he would never forget, nor would he ever forgive himself for it. He was in the locker room before a pep rally. Because Jake did sports so was he. Jake "jokingly" cat called a football player. That football player was David. David punched Jake in the face, then in the stomach, then he yelled at him slurs that broke Eric's ears. All Eric could think about was that first pride, he lost his control over his anger. Eric stepped in just in time to save his childhood friend, and smashed a couple of David's teeth. But the words "fairy" and "fag" made his mind erupt into a volcano commanding his hands to beat David until he couldn't say such hurtful things, no matter how hard he tried. Jake stopped him though. David ran off, half naked and bruised, out of the locker room into the gym. Eric stared at the other jocks until they stopped whispering and got into uniform.

After the pep rally all Eric could do was think about what would have happened if Jake hadn't stepped in. Of what could have happened if he hadnt stopped David from being so derogatory and brutal. That wasnt why he was sad though, he was sad because of the look on Jake's face. Jake had looked like they were about to cry. Jake looked at Eric like he was a monster. Jake didnt think that, but they were scared, they were shocked at their friends behavior, they were sad at the words that had come out of David's mouth. Jake was mostly upset their friend had to step in though.

Eric had been suspended 5 times from 6th grade till now for getting in fights. Every single fight was in defense of someone else. Whether it was some guy spreading rumors about a girl or a guy bullying some nerd. He always stepped in and almost always got caught and reprimanded. Jake always tried to prevent these things from happening. That's why Jake would step in. Eric had been defending Jake since both of them were 12 though, he wasnt planning on stopping anytime soon.

For Jake and Eric, life was one bully after the other, one fight every other day, a bloody nose followed by three shots to the ribs. Every fight ended the same though, and every fight was won by Eric.

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