My life, Her life, Their lives.

Chpt 11: Goodbye note... (Pov Ana)

I kept my eyes closed, just focusing on my breathing and the silence of the room, I didn't want to open them. I knew that once I did, once I saw what had happened, once I took it all in, that's when it would become real. Then again I knew that keeping my eyes closed and lying to myself while everyone around me was in as much pain as I was, that was selfish.

I slowly opened them and assessed my surroundings, there were shards of broken wood on the floor, and some blood splatters here and there,but the worst thing of all, was him. He just stood there, staring at me. I hated him, how could someone be so selfish, so stupid? But then again i loved him, seeing him hurt like that, I couldn't describe the guilt I felt. I shouldn't feel like that, this was no one else's fault but his own. I broke away from his glare and looked over to Nathan. We quickly locked eyes but he looked away, he wouldn't even look at me, instead he just stood up and walked down the stairs. He walked away silently. "NATE !" Taylor yelled for him to come back. "Let him go." I said, my voice horse and cracked, I didn't want her to make a bigger scene.What had just happened was enough.

It even confused me, I had never seen Cameron be so violent. I felt as if he was someone else, like i didnt know who he was anymore. Taylor nodded and stepped back. "Thank you." i whispered offering her a half smile. I could see Cameron continuously staring at me still, he looked as if he wanted to say something but couldn't come up with the words to do so. Seeing that look, that face, I just wanted to run to him, I wanted him to hold me in his arms and tell me everything was going to be alright, That It was all a dream. But I knew that it wasn't, he was once the love of my life, but now all I saw was a stranger, I saw his face, and his body, but his eyes didn't look like his, his expression, nothing about him is who I once loved. I'm terrified of this person in front of me. I don't know him.

Finally he spoke, "Ana baby, please come here, listen to me." he stepped towards me but i countered it with a step back. I didn't want him near me, I didnt want anything to do with him. "Baby please come here it's alright" Everyone turned to look at us. Like as if we were animals, no one knew how to handle us right now, no one wanted to. "No, cam I've had it with you. Look around you!" I singled to our surroundings, I fought back tears and kept going "Does it look like anything is alright? Look at what happened! Who does something like this!" I backed away from him with tears rolling down my face. I was done, I couldn't handle this anymore. I turned and ran down stairs pushing Nate out of my way, he had come back upstairs to listen in. I could hear Taylor yelling at him and him yelling back

"I DIDNT DO ANYTHING! ITS NOT MY FAULT CAMERON AND YOUR FIANCEE WENT BAT SHIT CRAZY."

"NATE JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN FOR ONCE"

They both needed to shut up. I was sick of their constant bickering, It wasn't the time now, besides It was no ones fault but Cameron's, I would hope they could at least agree on that. I walked towards the back door of the kitchen and collapsed on the floor to cry alone. I needed to be alone. I stayed there alone in the darkness for god knows how long. The seconds seemed like minutes yet the hours seemed like seconds. After some time I could see Cameron's shoes as he stood in front of me, I wanted to be alone. Didn't I at least deserve that? Just as he put his hand on my shoulder I got up and pushed him off. He looked at me for a few seconds before speaking, "Ana I'm sorry. But Nate..."

"SHUT UP!" i yelled "JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP CAMERON! He didn't do anything to me! Nathan never did anything to me! But you." I glared at him, my cheeks flushed with anger." You did the worst thing possible, How could you!" I screamed at him. I didnt let him answer, pushing past him I walked into the bathroom near the downstairs bedrooms and closed the door. This was the one place i could be left alone, door locked and in peace, i began to write a note. I heard Cam follow behind me, I knew he was waiting outside, but neither one of us spoke, instead we both sat there in silence.

After some time i heard Taylor addressing both Nathan and Cameron, they seemed to be in the living room."Look at what you did." she said. I could hear Cameron begin to argue but Taylor cut him off "Was this worth it?" she laughed ironically. Nathan responded coldly "I Didn't. Do. Anything."  I could hear their footsteps as they all walked away. They each went to separate rooms. The house fell silent once again.

. . .

Someone knocked on the bathroom door. "Cameron go away, I don't want to talk to you." I was exhausted, even to fight. I didnt want to say anything. I felt numb, i couldnt feel, i couldnt think.

"It's Nate, Cameron is still talking to Taylor in the other room." I opened the door a crack and looked around. I looked at him with a weak smile, he smiled back and I let him inside. He sat on the edge of the bathtub and spoke for a while. He apologized , though he really didn't need to, and so did I . We sat in silence for a while before i finally let it out, "I want to leave." He looked at me confused "Nathan, I don't want to be here right now, I need to leave, just for the night." He just sighed and nodded "I understand." He hugged me and agreed to help me.

Nathan left the bathroom and went to start his car. I stayed inside and closed the door. I looked down one final time at the note i had written, and placed it carefully on the sink. The only regret i would have that held me back slightly was the fact I was leaving Taylor, Shawn, Alex and Sam behind, in my own home. I was leaving them to their own. Then again the night was already ruined and my presence there wouldn't help anything, besides Nathan was leaving for a while, I'm sure others would too. Carefully I opened the door, I did so slowly so it wouldn't creak. I sighed closing my eyes for a second finally making my mind up, I needed to leave.

I opened the front door quickly getting out of the house, I finished zipping up my boots and ran down the pavement. It felt like freedom, just being there, seeing him, now i was free. Nathan's car was waiting for me at the end of the drive way, just like he had promised, he always seemed to be there for me. I climbed in and hugged him "Thank you." I buried my head in his chest, he held me for a second before turning away to drive, "My pleasure." He smiled putting his hands on the steering wheel.

We noticed the lights turning on in the living room, they must've gone down to see me again, we had to leave. He looked at me as i squirmed in my seat anxiously waiting, "Where to Ana?" He smiled ironically backing out onto the street. "Anywhere but here." I half smiled as he sped away. I looked back at the rear view mirrors and sighed "Im so sorry Taylor."