Courtship Season (Angry Birds)

Ch 1: House Guest

Word of warning. This is marked "Mature" for a reason. The chapters with explicit content will be marked at the top, so if it isn't your cup of tea, you can skip them.

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Setting: The story starts during the movie when Red is painting.

"What's going on here? Are you explorers or are you staying? Cause if you're explorers, then why are more of you coming?" Red pointed at the piggy ship approaching the first one.

Leonard didn't even flinch as the new ship rammed into the first one, pushing it against the bird's ugly little house.

"Not my house again. That's my home!" the mouthy bird groaned, staring dejectedly at the scene on the beach. "And you know what, if you are staying, why don't you just say so? And why did you leave your home? How do we know you're not fugitives of the law?"

It was amazing how quick the little bird could change his focus. Little did he know that, as king, Leonard WAS the law on Piggy Island. Still, Red was the only bird that actually seemed suspicious of them, and he wasn't about to have his plans spoiled so easily. Making eye contact with the judge, Leonard gestured to the red bird who was still spouting his ideas to the crowd. In mere seconds, the judge was leaning over the petite avian, grabbing him roughly by the wing.

"You are making our guests feel unwelcome," Peckinpah snapped, yanking his young charge close.

"And you're not asking basic questions," Red shot back.

"Enough! Your inability to connect with people is a reoccurring issue, Mr. Red. You've had numerous opportunities to become an upstanding member of society, but you continue to let your anger get the best of you. I cannot continue to overlook this suspicious treatment of our honored guests on the basis that you are a lost and found hatchling," the judge stated roughly.

"This has nothing to do with that," Red protested.

"You are a young adult, Red, and less than a year away from being considered a full-fledged adult in our community. Clearly, there are still lessons you need to learn before you reach that stage. And I believe Mr. Leonard, despite not being a bird, would be an excellent teacher. You could learn a great deal from him."

Well, this was an unexpected turn of events. Leonard gazed at the shocked look on the little crimson bird's face, and wondered just where the judge was planning to go with this news.

"As you well know, we are in the midst of our courtship season. Birds of your age group often exhibit difficulty controlling their anger and aggression without a friend or companion to help ease their tensions," Peckinpah began to spout, releasing the younger avian from his grasp.

"I don't NEED someone else. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of my own needs. He doesn't even have the right equipment. And you can't order me to accept HIM as a heat partner," Red argued furiously.

"You are correct about the last part. Such things should be consensual between both parties. But I CAN order you to allow Mr. Leonard to live with you during the remainder of his stay. With all his cousins and friends on the ships, he could surely use a quiet place to rest. What do you say, Mr. Leonard?" the judge asked, turning to the obvious leader of the pigs.

Leonard took a moment to gather his thoughts — all that talk of courtship and partners in the bedroom was certainly was a lot to spring on a newcomer they'd only met a few days before. Still, he could use this opportunity to get more information about the eggs, and take the little red squirt down a peg or two. "Well, I'm game. It seems I have a lot to learn about you birds, and I'm sure Red and I will get along swimmingly."