I once told him I was going to write a book about him. He laughed. Well- here you go:
I wont be including his name for privacy or mine. Just a story with story characters. And if you happen to know me or him, well, oops
Being around him is like... the air leaving your lungs as the reality of being at the top of the coaster's hill hits you, or that first sweet lick of an ice cream cone. Taking the training wheels off of your bike and making it without falling. Watching the sun fall behind the horizon. Fireworks going off in the blackest of skies.
And yet in the same second it could be so-
A deep breath, a long sigh. And so much pain behind those hazel eyes. A fake smile, or a smirk that steals my soul. That little scar in his eyebrow. And my thoughts are gone, simply because I cannot think around him.
I remember the first time I saw him. How could I not?
Standing propped up against the cement hallway, playing on his phone. My heart thumped harder as I passed him, not bothering to avoid staring. I couldn't, he was gorgeous. He was probably used to it though, it's not like he exactly blended into a crowd.
Dressed in all black head to toe, startling at first but you get used to it. Thinking about it, I have gotten used to many things I never thought I could before I met him. But that comes later.
He looked up from his phone, and we made eye contact. My heart dropped in my stomach. Hazel to blue, and then I walked away. That was it. Not exactly "love at first sight" but there was something. Maybe fear. Maybe. Probably not though.
A stormy night, a crack of thunder. A hole inside my chest, a weight on my shoulders.
Despite all he has done over the years, never has fear crossed my mind when thinking about him. Maybe anger, yes, many times anger. Frustration, pain, but never fear. But love, well-
Love is a funny thing. It can make you do the worst without thinking twice about it. It can make you change yourself to better fit the ones you love, or it could make you feel complete. It's different for everyone.
A lovely drive turns into a fiery car crash. Reaching out to pet a dog, and it bites you.
That's maybe what it feels like.
So amazing it pulls you in, and turns so awful you can't rip your eyes away from it.
And even staring at the flames, you get mesmerized in the beauty. The strange, dark, awful beauty of it. Of him.
And then he speaks-
Gods and then he speaks.
sooooooooooooooooooooooooo idk if y'all gonna like this. But i wanna tell a story I can get invested in. At this point, im done w that old book w james and lilly sorry I'm just not at that point in my life anymore. But, heres this mess. let me know if you like it and i'll make more. Yes this is a true story if i continue with it, and girlllll this goes on for 4 years let me tell u
anyway,
xoxo, tell me if you want me to continue this
