Hi my name is Micah, I like ranch, I'm a Capricorn, and I suffer from severe sleep paralysis.
It all started the first day of 3rd grade, when I was riding my bike to school. I was crossing the street and I spotted a lady bug in the middle of the road, so I obviously had to stop to let it cross. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a red Nissan heading straight towards me and I froze in fear, I couldn't move a muscle. Luckily the car pulled its brakes just in time and spared my life. What a relief, dying in the hands of a red Nissan wouldn't earn me any clout points.
The lady bug crossed the road safely so I began to pedal again. Then a white van slams into me and sends me flying into the air, as I was landing, the bike handle was penetrating my rectum, and that's when I realized I'm gay.
"Sir, please help me, my asshole is throbbing!" I say as I watch a man step out of the van. As soon as he came out, four girls around my age sprint out of the car. I thought they were coming to help me but they ran right past me. I guess they couldn't help me anyways with their hands tied like that.
" I'm sorry son, but you just made me lose business."
It's been 5 years and I haven't seen my dad since.
Since that day my sleep has never been the same. I wake up in the middle of my sleep unable to move while a life size lady bug stares at me playing the miniature violin.
I told my mom about it and she'd always tell me it's the tooth fairy but I ran out of baby teeth 4 years ago. So she hired an exorcist. The priest was a Virgo so we were compatible. He was a little old though, but age doesn't matter.
He'd do a special ritual, and it was exclusive so it was very important that everyone else left the room so it was just me, him, and the lady bug demon. He'd demand me to bend over at the feet of Christ as he whips out his holy stick and demolishes my sins so hard that I can feel the holiness in my toes. He'd fill me up with God's love, it was a bit sticky though, but hey if a man died on the cross for you then the least you can do is let him hit it from the back.
The priest passed away from gonorrhea the next month, but thankfully my sleep paralysis days were over.
Or so I thought.
Everything was going well until one night I wake up all of a sudden unable to move. Everything is dark.
"ₕₑₑ ₕₑₑ"
Who is that?
"ₕₑₑ ₕₑₑₑ"
No way... Is that who I think it is???
