Crying For Your Help {JJ x Yuri fanfic}

Chapter 13

{SHORT CHAPTER}

{JJ's POV}

He's up there, waiting for me...watching over me and making sure I'm safe...why Yuri...why kill yourself when you know it would cause me so much pain...?

Day by day, more cuts appear in my arms. One, two, three, four. By now my arms are covered in blood, dry blood. Long, red cuts all down them. Every moment Yuri isn't with me is pain. It's agonizing. I just wish he'd come back...

I just want to wrap him in my arms and tell him I love him...he'd laugh and smile telling me that he loves me too...even if we both know not the way I feel...as for my drinking...

It's gotta way, way worse...I went from drinking two bottles a day...to four bottles a day...I have suicidal thoughts...and I can't even bring myself to skate because it reminds me too much of Yuri...

My beautiful kitty cat...

You're gone...you left me all because of someone pushing you down...I don't know if that person was me...or Otabek...but...I hope you're happy, up there...I feel so alone without you...but...I just want you to be happy despite my sadness...
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I walked into my kitchen and out into a my lounge through the doors connecting it and sat down on a bean bag. I sigh and lay back on it, feeling down.

In fact, I didn't feel anything. I just felt...empty. no emotions seemed to come to me, only one thought. ‘Kill Otabek.’

The words repeated on my head over and over as if someone or something was nagging me on to do the unthinkable. I didn't want to kill him. I knew I had killed so many people but...this was way different. Yuri had liked him, he had liked Yuri. And I would never kill someone Yuri loved...

‘Kill him.’ It said again. ‘No one will know it was you. Just dispose of the evidence and you'll get away with it!’

I ignored the voice and shook my head to gather my thoughts looking into the cloudy sky above me. Rain.

I smile, feeling happiness. A few drops of water fell before lots of droplets of rain began to fall from the sky. I saw kids rush inside, and adults run inside too. Why didn't they love the rain as much as Yuri and I did? The rain was such an amazing weather. I don't understand how not many people like it...

I sigh and go back inside. I go up to my room and fall onto my bed, sighing as I closed my eyes, falling into a deep slumber.