One minute Applejack was bucking apples on the farm, the next she was sitting on a stool in a dark room.
"What in tarnation?" she uttered.
"Applejack, is that you?" asked a voice on her left.
"Twilight, Applejack?" asked another, this one on her right.
"Rarity?"
"What's goin' on here, guys?" said Applejack.
"I don't know. I was just reading Mythical Facts and Figures and then suddenly wound up here."
"Where are we?" Rarity demanded.
A booming voice echoed in the darkness: "Mares and gentle colts, welcome to...'The Dating Game!'"
The lights went up and the three mares found themselves in a TV studio, with a large audience of disembodied hands clapping in front of them.
The voice continued: "Here is your host, the Lord of Chaos himself: Diiiiiisscooooord!"
On cue, the draconequus appeared wearing a red suit before the audience and bowed to them.
"Thank you, thank you!" he said into a hand mic. "Howdy, folks and welcome to 'The Dating Game!' The show where ponies, and other creatures, find true love! In a moment, we will bring out today's bachelor who will select from three lovely bachelorettes to go on a date with! Let's go and meet the lucky ladies, shall we?"
"What in the world is...?" Rarity started to say.
He hovered over her. "Bachelorette Number One hails from Ponyville, but is quite popular among the Canterlot elite, especially when it comes to fashion! Her hobbies include dress making, gem hunting and relaxing at the spa. She's also the Element of Generosity and a stay-at-home older sister. Let's hear a round of applause for Rarity!"
The floating hands applauded, making the white unicorn blush. "Oh, stop! I can't handle all the praise!"
Applejack huffed. "Yeah, right."
Discord appeared behind the cowgirl. "Bachelorette Number Two is the rodeo champ and top athlete in all of Equestria! That's pretty good, considering she has no wings."
"Hey!"
"Hay is for horses, and this little hayseed runs her own farm and apple orchard, continuing her family business. Yep, she's a real family gal, had to raise her little sister on her own. Her hobbies include apple bucking, herding, lassoing and helping the orphans of Canterlot. You can ask this pony anything, for she'll always tell the truth. Let's give a warm welcome to Applejack!"
Twilight narrowed her eyes. "Discord, I demand you tell us what..."
"And Bachelorette Number Three has the most impressive résumé! She was Princess Celestia's personal protégé for years, helped defeat Nightmare Moon, King Sombra, Queen Chrysalis, and me..." the draconequus grumbled.
"We were there too!" Rarity interrupted.
"She also vanquished an Ursa Minor single hoofedly, perfected a time spell, finished Starswirl the Bearded's Secret Unfinished Masterpiece and earned the right to become a princess without being born into the family! Her hobbies include reading, magic, more reading and spending time with her friends. Seriously, this pony's a regular bookworm! Please welcome Princess Twilight Sparkle!"
"Discord!" the alicorn shouted.
"Yes, Bachelorette Number Three?" their host asked innocently.
"What is going on here?"
