I was sold to One Direction

Invasion

I was all too familiar with the Red Army. They taxed juuls very heavily, and my mom bought so many that she single-handedly funded the Russian Army and their overtaking of eastern Europe after WW2! They gave her a medal, but took away all of our food.

The angry Russians were barreling towards us over the large hills of Jillian's ranch, guns shooting what seemed to be empty juul pods. They must have produced so many juul pods that when my mother left Russia after her short-lived opera career they had a surplus and their economy collapsed, leaving them only with juul pods that were empty inside, like me.

I looked behind me and I saw a tutti fruitti pod hit Jillian in the face and knock her unconscious. After her body slumped to the ground the firing stopped. I was petrified in my place and a large man in a red military uniform broke through his ranks of soldiers and approached me.

In his thick Russian accent he said

"Are you, Mclakal.. Mclachi... whatever this stupid name is?!"

Feeling insulted I harshly responded

"Well your little pea brain must be too small to comprehend the historical significance of the name McLaklee, which is a combination of three road signs on highway 45 thank you very much."

I flip my hair that changed to auburn in the sunlight and blinked my now violet eyes due to my mood being changed to anxious.

"Well, McLaklee, I heard that you are the head of the twitter for ISIS, very charitable of you to volunteer your time to such an organization!"

"I'm just such a charitable and amazing person, that's why Shawn Mendes invited me to sing with him on stage after my father left to go run ISIS" I responded with tears in my eyes as I remembered the moment.

"You know Shawn Mendes?" the military leader asked "He works for us too! He came up with the Soviet National Anthem!"

No way I thought, I knew that I could hear his homeboy swag and his rustic guitar amid the cheers of my classmates while my teacher played the anthem in second grade.

"So like, what do you want anyway??" I questioned the Russian army leader.

"Well, the Red Army would like to branch out it's popularity into the younger generations, mainly through social media, so we were wondering if you could help us set up the app called TikTok?"

Being a famous TikTok star myself, despite not having a phone because my mother smashed it on the ground after trying to take a hit from it and realizing that it's not a juul, I was very familiar with the app and was able to set up the Red Army with their very own account and even helped them create their first TikTok using the sound 'Why do good girls like bad guys'. In exchange for my work the Red Army left the now deceased Jillian's ranch and even disposed of her body for us! What sweethearts!