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As I didn't know from where to start. I decided to begin with the belly. Kind of the center of whole. Why I paint, why I write, why I am into this need of creation and comunication. Do you imagine? I guess it is quite difficult. Well for me when I was around 25 years old, with an economic graduation in my pocket and a job as accountant it happened something very strong, unbelievable even to me. I had That Moment! At that time I was very precise, I used to organize and plan everything. I had already a big passion for art, my love for painting grew up with me since I was a little baby, but It wasn't the main thing. I liked to read, I liked many things at that time I still felt I had to discover the world. Even I was already a world traveller. As you probably know before the graduation I had many experience in fashion world, I walked with Naomi Campbell and Claudia Schiffer as a model and before I took part of international beauty contest and I worked even in tv shows. So I had many kinds of friends. Real friends from school, real as those were real people simple with few masks as it can happens in fashion or television world, but I had good friends also there. One of this was an author of a tv show that at that time was editing his first book. So while he was doing his editing for the first big editor in his life he asked me to read his book just to let him know my thoughts about. This book was already called 'tre metri sopra il cielo' it was a story about teenager's love affair, it was well written and very passionate. So it happened that after a while it was published and it was available in the bookshop. It was February, I still remember, my friend was very happy about and I was very happy too as it was his dream coming true to be a writer. So even I already had red that book I decided to get a real copy for me and I went to purchase it at the bookshop 'la feltrinelli' that was in Roma at piazza Cola di Rienzo. I went there with my car and I was lucky enough to find a parking close by. I had just to cross via MarcoAntonio Colonna to reach the bookshop. I was a rainy day, actually it rained all day but when I get out of my car the rain stopped, so I didn't even pickup the umbrella. In order to cross via Colonna there was a walking light. When I arrived there I was going to cross the street, there were no cars passing by, but when I realized the walking light was red for me I stepped back waiting for the green. I remember that close to me , waiting for the green, there was a guy dressed with a beige sweather that was listening music from a walkman, kind of strange as it was already the time for CD players. He didn't pay attention to me at all, he was totally focused on his walkman.That I noticed too as it was already the time for cd instead of music cassettes.  So finally the light was green and I started crossing via Colonna watching the bookshop in front of me. When I was kind of four steps ahead I heard somebody yelling ' stop!!! Be carefull! / exactly 'ferma! Attenta!!' I turned my face to the left and there was a yellow cab arriving at high speed right toward me. It was kind of a second and I felt I was away. I was very light in a place full of light and I started feeling the love and seeing scenes of my life with my beloved, my mother, my father, my sister, my boyfriend, that even he was an ex boyfriend at that time, the long love story we lived ended few months before but evidently he was still in my heart. Time was elapsed. I could feel intensely all those moments with them. Suddenly I realized something incredible: I was going die! Oh yes, that was. And I was feeling very good though, very light, kind of fling in a very bright place but Immediately my thought went straight to my mother! Holy holy holy I thought if was died that pain would have been so big for her that it would have killed her too. I felt so much pain then, huge pain, in my heart for the struggle I would have gave to her and to my family that in a second, like a cold quick shower from high I was sent back into my body! Kind of a splash into a stone, actually trough my head. My body was petrified! Friezed!I couldn't move even a little finger. Than I beated my eyes I could see the face of the taxi driver. His car was so close to me that just a sword would have passed by. His face was like a mask of fear, pale, big eyes , mouth open. I was shocked and him too. I was still in the middle of the street and so Friezed. Than someone touched my arm and kindly helped me to reach the other side of the street. I don't remember who was, maybe the guy with the walkman, but as I crossed the street with my legs still trilling he disappeared and I called my mum with my phone in my bag, not the I phone, just a simple one. I told her' I love you mum, I think I was going to die but now everything is fine, you saved me, I love you'. She was at work, so she gave me attention, but not that much,she said ' yes, yes, we are fine too' only at home I would have explained all. Than I realized everything was like before, people, cars were everything in the right place. Even the bookshop was where it had to be. But I didn't realize that something happened. It was about me, I wasn't the same of before. I still went to purchase that book, the effect was not that happy as I imagined. It wasn't important at all, it was me, all me, my mind, my body so shocked from bones to brain, my values my beliefs my main things! Everything changed. Actually everything took its own right place. No dress, no diamond, no car has a minimum value next to real love. When I went home and I told the whole story to my family I told that the biggest pain was not the feeling of the lost of them, there were no lost up there everything was light and connected. The biggest sadness I felt was the pain I would have gave to them with my death. So please if you have any dear that passed away think about them with joy because this is the biggest gift you can give them. Your beloved want you to feel happy and joyfull, they are always somehow connected and your pain, even for their lost, doesn't make them happy. When I will be brave enough I will tell you more about this, of course it is one hundred pour cent true