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calum wasn't in school. i hope he is tomorrow. i really miss him. is he okay? maybe he's just ill. please let it be that. i need him. ashton came up to me today. he said i looked down. i said i was fine. i wasn't. he said he was there for me. i told him he should've been there for calum. i ignored him. but i wrote him a note apologising.

i ran out of school. i was too emotional. i don't want calum to leave. i need him. i prayed to god. i'm not religious though. i prayed to every god i could think of. i heard my mom talking to her friend. she said she had never seen me so scared before. but i don't want to lose calum. i don't know what i would do without him.

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