9/3/2012
Who am I?
The girl with the fucked up family
Who’s too afraid to be herself
The girl who listens to mom and dad
Because she wishes they were happy
Because she wants to make them proud
Because she doesn’t want to stress them out
Because she feels bad for them
The girl who doesn’t know who the hell she is
Because all she does know
Is how to listen to mom and dad.
The girl who is depressed and suicidal
Who’s too ashamed to speak out
Who can’t talk to anyone
Coz mom and dad already have enough to handle
And the sister is trying to pick up the pieces of her own life
The girl who’s sick and tired of hearing about other people’s problems
Who hates listening to her sister and parents argue
Who doesn’t want to hear her parents complain about her sister
Or her sister complain about her parents
Or her family complaining about her cousin
Who just moved out of the house
The girl whose parents are hypocrites
Who say they just want her to be happy
But aren’t concerned about her happiness at all
Who just want her to become a showcase trophy
Because the sister is already tarnished and broken
The girl who hasn’t cried in over three years for herself
Because there’s no one there to talk to
Who actually wants to scream and wail and slit her wrists
Because her family is overwhelming
And because she’s lonely
And because she wants to break out from underneath her parents’ control
But then she doesn’t
Because she’s afraid to disappoint mom and dad
And who will display a suicidal daughter?
And then she realizes that no matter what she does, she’ll always be under her parents’ control
The girl who doesn’t know if she should choose family or herself first
Who can’t describe herself
Or tell her likes or hates
Coz she’s s scared that she was programmed to like and hate by her parents
Who say they want her to be happy
But do it the wrong way
The girl who can’t write her college essay
Because she doesn’t want to force it
And is instead, crying in her room
Trying to describe herself
