Daydreaming

chapter 1

And at the end of the day, all we have is who we are.

Now I sit here, like every day. Just sitting here on the cliffs of Ireland, hanging the legs over the deadly edge. Look at the ocean, and tries not to think. Sometimes I take a book with to flee to another world. I know that I have to go one day, and I will not hold on when there's noting to save. But if you know that you don't have enough time to do the things you always wanted to do, you realize that everything ends one day. Even if you think everything's fine, and you don't expect anything to destroy your little perfect world in just one second.

Since I realized it, I stand up every day when the sun rise and walk to this place, sit there until the sun has long set and the moon shines at the sky. When everyone sleeps I take a walk along the cliffs as long as I can't stand upright. After this I go home eat and drink something and go to bed.

The bags under my eyes are seen every day better, and even if I would use make-up you would still see them clearly. Sometimes when I walk to the place I feel dizzy, because I haven't eat enought.

That's also the reason why I'm going to die. I have anorexia. A month ago I was in the hospital, because I fainted on the street and someone called the ambulance. The doctor told me that I have to stay there and have to be treated. But I have against it and now I have to deal with the consequences. In my case, the consequences means that I don't have more than a half year to live.

There is just one thing that I want to do, befor I die. I want to see my family one last time, tell them that I love them. Just hold then in my arms one last time. But now I can't, because my body is to weak to surive the trip to them.

In this little village I live, everybody knows everybody. They know me as the girl who can't speak. I have a little job in the cafe down the street, I worked there every day for five hours. But right now I have holidays, 'cause I don't have the energie to work. Sometimes someone come to speak with me, I never answer but for them it's just good to know that they can always speak to me, about every thing. Because I would never tell anyone else. I hope they won't miss me much, because I don't want to hurt someone just because I'm sick.

I also hope my family will not think that it's the fault of them, because it's not. I wish I would still be strong enougth to flight to London. To see my family, but I'm not enough. And they can't come to Ireland, 'cause they all have a fear to fly and not enought money. So I will spend the rest of my live alone. I mean I move away as I was old enough to live alone, but I still love my famliy and I know that they love me as much as I love them, it will be hard for them when I'm death.

I wish I could have the power to eat, so I don't have to die, but I can't. It all starts as I just was not hungry after I wake up, but then I don't wasn't hungry at the middle of the day. So I just eat one time at day, and after time to time I can't eat more than one time, because I just feel like I'm not hungry. I never thought that I might have anorexia, that this might will kill me.

640 words

This is the prolog of my new story, I hope you like it and it don't have to much mistakes. I hope the next capters will be longer.