Blow Out Your Candles

why the long face birthday girl

The last time I saw him was the night before he died. Forever singed in my mind as he was in that moment, lovely and unknowable. It's been three years since, but every condolence I receive for the loss of my brother serves as a reminder. That, and the mirror, we never looked much alike except for the eyes. Looking into it now, I felt foreign to myself. But never mind that now, I have plans.

I pulled clothes from the closet at random, and raced out the door to an old chevy pick up belonging to my best friend Kate. She didn't avert her eyes from her phone until the door crashed behind me.

"Late as always," she quipped, " at least TRY to be on time."

"We can always catch a later showing, it's only 9. Besides it's my birthday and if I want to be late I will be. " I retorted.

With that, she sped off into the night. It was raining, and I watched as the drops ran down the window, blurring into the lights of traffic. I got lost in my own head as I often did, but Kate and I were comfortable enough to sit comfortably in silence.

The truck came to a halt, and I looked up to find us at quaint house, and turned to Kate with an annoyed look.

"C'mon, I just need to grab a couple things and then we can go okay?" she said and turned off the ignition.

She began walking towards the house and looked back at me expectantly to follow. I grunted and started towards the property with her. The lights were out, but she turned the knob to the door regardless and the room exploded to life.

A banner reading HAPPY EIGHTEENTH OCTAVIA read in an alarming blue. Kate was smiling from ear to ear as she greeted people and joined the festivities. I surrendered to the madness knowing that she threw the party out of love, and exchanged pleasantries before heading to the kitchen.

An assortment of half emptied bottles were laid out, and I reached for one reading Bacardi and took a swig. Okay, maybe more than a swig if I'm being honest with myself.

Hours passed full of loud awful music and happy birthdays from half-familiar faces. I found myself on the back deck looking out at the lake. Everything was still and serene, I liked that about rain. The world always seemed to stop for a short while after it did.

"Why the long face birthday girl," a voice said, "it is your birthday right?"

I jumped, startled by the sudden interruption of quiet. I looked to my left to see a boy not much older than myself. His hair was dark which was an intense contrasted intensely with his eyes which were a pale grey.

"Never been big on them," I admitted.

He chuckled and took a drag from his cigarette before offering it to me. I hesitated but took it anyway, breathing in a hit before returning my gaze to the lake.

"So what are you big on then?"

"Long walks on the beach," I said sarcastically, "and a good book."

He grabbed the cigarette from my fingers and spoke again. "Why do I believe there's much more interesting things to learn about you?"

I didn't offer an answer and he kept his eyes fixated on me. Studying, observing, watching. I was too drunk to scold him for staring.

After a few moments he moved to the edge of the deck and walked down a step or two but not before stealing another glance. Just for a second, and then disappeared into the darkness.