eunoia ; luke hemmings [editing]

day twelve » do you trust me?

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Saturday, July 11th. do you trust me?

luke ✕ pov

after maylin took the handful of pills to makeup for the days she skipped out, she fell asleep. i was beyond shocked that her situation was even close to this bad. after awhile, i almost thought she didn't have a problem. But not only was i shocked, i was terrified. i can't let her imagination drag her to hell. i won't let it happen.

i decided it was best if i take her up with me for the night, i wasn't comfortable with leaving her alone after what almost happened.

i picked her up bridal style and carried her up to my room. she stirred in her sleep as i set her down and draped the thin covers that the hospital provided over her body.

"things will get better." i kept muttering to myself while pacing around the room. it took me awhile before finally comprehending what just happened.

however, it didn't take me as long to figure out that i also needed a drink.

i looked over my shoulder to make sure maylin was asleep before leaving, although im positive the pills knocked her out for a good while.

i slipped out the door and shoved my hands in my front pockets while walking down the long dark hall.

i snuck past the nurses that were still wandering the halls this late and opened the doors to the kitchen.

"c'mon there's gotta be alcohol in here somewhere." i raided the cupboards and freezer.

i searched all around and rembered that the keys to the locked icebox was on under the sink, so i crawled under and picked them up before unlocking the box.

inside was a variety of bottles of alcohol, but at the moment i wasn't too picky. i just wanted to feel numb.

after a few swigs of the bottle in my hand, i stumbled over to the stool and set the drink on the counter top.

its hard for me to let everything sink in, i lost my family after doing what i thought was a favor for them. i feel like im doing a favor for maylin by making her take her pills, and im hoping i wont lose her either.

by now i haven't even noticed that i was in tears, but was soon shaken out of my thoughts when i heard a voice from behind me say "you're doing it wrong."

i swung my body around to see tate leaned up against the door frame.

"why are you down here?" i croaked.

"you don't take drink after drink. that'll turn you into and alcoholic. you take one long, hard gulp and you put it back. all you want is a buzz to make you forget until the next day." he ignored my questioned and walked over to where i had the bottle set and put it back in the box.

"why do you care?" i asked folding my arms on top of the table.

"because trust me, i know how shitty it feels to lose someone." he sighed and pulled up a stool and sat across from me.

"almost." i corrected. "i almost lost her."

"yeah? and how bad does that make you feel? im not blind luke, everyone can see that, that girl means something to you and you almost lost her. how would you feel if you got there two seconds later and wouldn't have had enough time to stop her huh? and you could never see her again?" he spewed.

i knew he was trying to prove to me that what i did was wrong. and i know that, but i decided to spare him tonight because i was just not in the mood to argue.

"i looked at her like you look at maylin. i treated her like a princess and made sure she knew i loved her everyday."

"i'm sorry." was all i could manage. i honestly felt for him after realizing how much she mean't to him.