Fire is Blood (ON HOLD)

Chapter 1

Blah, blah, blah. That's all I ever hear every time the councillor opened her mouth. This place annoys the hell out of me every time I entered through the doors to this room. It is always the same crap they talk about and the same questions they ask to try and invade your personal thoughts and expose your feelings. I don't understand why my Aunt sent me here. Well I do but I don't comprehend why I have to talk about what I feel and why I feel the way I do. What is the point to it, it does not help, it won't bring my parents back. It only makes me feel worse and the feelings come stronger every time I think about them. Isn't it easier to forget?

A sigh brings me back from my thoughts. I look up to see the Councillor leaning in towards me as if she was trying to cover up the distance between our two chairs, her thinly shaped eyebrows furrowed causing her to appear older by the lines on her forehead that had become more noticeable.

"Well that's it, it looks like our time has run out" The councillor who I think name is Helen said in a smooth calm voice as if she was relaxed and had no worries in the world. I was surprised. Was I finally allowed to leave? I looked up towards the modern looking clock that hung high above the tiny window above the Councillors desk. She was right; the half an hour session was over. To my thoughts, that half an hour felt like it was three hours.

I mentally sighed with relief before I stood up from the brown leather couch, the burning sensation on my skin which I had to rip off from the couch because it had become stuck on because of the time in the room which consisted with me sitting in the chair for the whole half an hour. I bent over and yanked my backpack from the carpeted floor. I stood back up and through the bag over my shoulder and walked straight towards the door, tasting the freedom that it held behind it. I was almost to the door when suddenly I felt someone grabbed me by my right arm causing me to slightly jump in fright.

"Emily, before you leave, I want to give you something" I annoyed sigh escaped my lips as I heard the never ending voice of Helen. I may as well get it over and done with. I turned around to face her but to be greeted with a book in my face; I frowned slightly confused until I saw the big bold letters written in gold at on the cover. DIARY.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" I asked as I cautiously took the diary and held it to my chest tightly.

"I want you to write your thoughts and feelings down so I can see how you're progressing." She said looking to me in the eyes to show that showed sternness.

I had to what? I could not believe her! It was like she wanted me to be frustrated and upset constantly with no break. Outside this room was my freedom of thinking about my parents and being lectured on behaviour. How would writing my feelings help anyways? I was about to voice my opinion on the idea until I saw that uncompromising look on her face causing me to have to bite my tongue.

"I will try" I say with a blank look on my face that I have been practicing since the fire. I was annoyed how I was constantly asked if I was alright, the pity look people gave me when they saw the sadness that was marked on my face. I hated pity and I hated when people told me that they were sorry. There was no need since they weren't the one who caused the fire.

Accepting my answer, Helen nodded and allowed me to leave.

Once outside the room I leaned against the wall to gather my thoughts. Was my life supposed to be like this for as long as I lived? Always in the dark about my parents death? Everyone thought that the fire was caused by an accident but I knew otherwise. The fire just didn't seem right, it didn't seem natural... a pain shot through my head as I tried to think about it causing my to wince and reach up to grab my head. I hate it, every time I think to hard to that night my head feels as if it is going to explode. My breathing came into pants as I held my head tightly, hoping for the pain to leave.