Walk on the Wild Side

Chapter 12: I Should Have Been a Little Bit Stronger

>< Fenella ><

The amount of drama that had already spread throughout the school was incredible but I shouldn't have been suprised with Rowan and Natasha having clashed so much. It was almost as bad as the ecstasy incident last year.

After Tash had calmed Josephine down she lead her back to her room leaving me alone in our bedroom wondering what the hell had gotten them so riled up. Tasha told me every from when she stopped using her dummy (age 11) to her deepest fears (being alone in the dark and peacocks). Something else she told was that her dad was a total arsehole. He had left her mom when she was 13 and Jo was 10 for some business partner he met on a business trip. He had gotten married to her the same year and had the audacity to invite Tash and Jo to the wedding.

I opened Kingston Con on my phone and read the latest piece mentioning Jo and the two latest arrivals: "Grayson". I knew that name and it suddenly all made sense. Natasha's dad had sent his new children here.

The door burst open and in came Tash, her eyes still red from her tears. She stopped and looked at me with a broken expression. She opened and closed her mouth as her words failed her, "I-" She whispered and her voice cracked. I strode forwards and wrapped my arms around her. It was the second time I had seen her so vulnerable and I had sworn on my life to never mention it again.

"I know." I said softly in her ear and that was all she needed to hear, to break down again. She sobbed into my shoulder and I knew more than anyone else what her father's abandonment had done to her and the things he'd said to her which had worn her down emotionally. I was furious at her father for being so selfish and cruel to his real children who he'd forgotten.

Tash cried herself to sleep that night and it killed me that all I could to alleviate her pain and sorrow was hug her. I wanted to kill her dad but that wasn't an option so all I could was watch as she suffered.

At midnight I had finally began to fall asleep when my phone vibrated from my bedside table. I jumped in fright at the suddenness in the silence. A text, from Michael.

Are you sleeping? If not please meet me at my apartment. I need to see you -M x

After I had shown my relationship with Noah off to Michael, I had felt the guilt eating at my insides as penance for my bitchiness. My act had deterred him for a few days but whilst Tash was huffing over Logan's absence, he had ignored my obvious statement and asked to speak to me in private after maths. He had told me that Noah didn't pose a threat to his feelings nor did his position. I had told him that I felt the same way towards him but I couldn't just dump Noah at the drop of a hat, not when he had acted as a crutch for me for so long.

But I couldn't let go of my feelings for Michael. I could've said that I love him, but that thought scared me even more than anything. I hated the guilt that seeing Michael covertly ignited within me, at betraying Noah, but what I felt for Michael was so much greater than anything I had ever felt before.

I slipped on a pair of baggy looking sweatpants and a waterproof Kingston winter jacket which was adorned with the Kingston shield and had Kingston college written on the back in silver, reflective letters and slipped out of the room, through the open window, without waking Natasha up. Wiggling down the ivy vines that climbed the walls of Carrow, only leaving the window open a little.

I reached Michael's apartment in less than a half hour, having memorised the way already and I had only knocked the door once before Michael opened it, and I was yanked into his arms.

"You have no idea how much I've missed you." He mumbled incoherently into my hair.

"I saw you yesterday, you idiot." I giggled, peering up at him through my thick lashes and seeing his smiling eyes looking down at me. That look was the look that made me forget Noah, forget school, forget my family and my troubles. He stroked my cheek with the back of his fingers. And the minor action made me jump, the sudden realisation that hit me when I considered my feelings, Michael's actions and my situation - I only want to be with Michael. I didn't care about anything else, my family's wishes , the illicit status of our relationship or the opinions of anyone else.