Existence

Holding on to dear life

As a young girl she was vibrant, energetic, creative, caring and delicate. Things where all as it seem it should be. Skyler was laying in the grass one beautiful Sunday morning gazing straight up into the sky. Thinking about her young life which she merely lived long, only 10 years old at the time. Her mother so strung out on drugs and drowning in deep depression was never around. In a house with barely food to put on the table clean clothes to wear and a decent night of sleep. How can one child bare these missing necessities of survival.

"Skyler, you stupid bitch!?", Her mom calls. Skyler jumps up instantly.

"Yes maa?" She answers back.

"Why the fuck did you go in my room and eat two of my muthafuckin' cookies!? That's why I don't let you little motherfuckers in my bedroom! Yo daddy ain't shit and you ain't shit that's why you ain't neva gonna be shit!" As her mother kept on Skyler just put her head down with so much heartbreak and disappointment tears just rolled down her cheeks. With nothing to say Skyler ran into her room and put her face under the covers so she can pretend to disappear. But all she could think about was her father whom she loved so dearly, No one could change how she felt about her father.

Todd was a great dad to Skyler. When he was around he made her life feel as though she was a princess, someone very special to him. He was the king in those unchanging moments together. They laughed, talked, went on a journey while hanging out together before returning home to the wicked witch. Skyler would always ask "Dad why can't I come live with you!?" I miss you so much!" Her dad would say "I'll try again and ask your mom but she will not like the idea. Plus I'm working on moving back here to Ohio so I can be closer to y'all."

Skyler was thinking about moments spent with her dad to make her feel better while smothered under her pillow. The next morning she didn't realize she cried herself to sleep the night before. Now getting ready for school she threw on whatever she thought was clean, then brushed her teeth and ran out the front door headed for school. She was a high achiever whom worked really hard at keeping up academically since she missed so much school. Because of her mom drug addiction others stepped in for guidance such as teachers, neighbors and lunch aides. However there was one particular lady named Ms Brown which was in charge of the safety guards at school. Skyler was the Captain and loved making other kids feel safe. Mrs Brown always went overboard to help Skyler out with meals, field trips and more. She treated Skyler like her own daughter even invited her to dinner most of the time. So school was another safe haven for Skyler.

A few days went by since the incident with her mom. She felt empty all the time and lost. Mostly Daydreaming alot about how things would be if she lived with her father. Skyler was now holding her head down everyday coming from school, going to the store even when it was time to go to the park. The one thing she loved was roller skating oh boy did she love skating. Finally her father called with a surprise to tell her that he had bought her a pair of perfectly designed, all turquoise with red and white stripe on the side heavy duty skates. She was so excited and couldn't wait until they were on her feet. Once her dad came and left so quickly with her surprise she was still hoping to be with her father but nothing changed. So she begin to look on the bright side, She focused more on the surprise which warmed her heart and made her fill some of the void inside but this was only temporary. Now Skyler started to look up again, everywhere she went those skates were on her feet with the biggest koolaide smile ever. Avoiding her mom she would skate most of the day up and down around the corner and back repeatedly until it was time for bed. Through all of this her mother never even noticed if she ate or even there inside the house at all. What a pitty this was for her to have to deal with.

Skyler family always was moving around. This time across town to a new neighborhood. She felt really sad because she would miss her old school and neighbors that looked out for her. It was a dark moment for her as her mom and brothers prepared to move. Skyler had 8 brothers and 3 sisters, only 4 siblings lived at home at the time. She was the 3rd youngest of them all. As the day went on while moving she sat on the porch with her skates on in the daze feeling really numb and hurt at the same time not knowing what was next to come. How would she start all over meeting new friends especially ones that actually cared if she was present or not. What new school she would attend or even thinking will she see her father again hoping her mom even gave him the news she was moving once again.