gone

chapter 1

(this book will mainly be in andrea's point of view but for this chapter it will be in mason's)

mason

"alright jake, choose whatever flavor you want" i tell my little brother. he has been wanting to go out for some ice cream with me for a while now i just never got around to it. college has been kicking my ass recently. trying to keep up your grades while playing for your colleges football team isn't exactly the easiest thing to do so my time is limited.

"umm" he pulls my shirt so i bend down to his height, whispering in my ear he says "i want the chocolate please." i tell the man what jakey told me.

i came to visit my sister over break, to see how she's doing. she's told me she does online school now because she has to take care of jake seeing as our parents aren't around anymore. unfortunately, they died a few years back in a car accident when jake was just 2 years old. i was 15 at the time, andrea at the young age of 13. our aunt was our legal guardian but she died last year due to her liver cancer. she wasn't much help to be honest, she was a notorious drunk who liked to spend her hours at the bar rather than with the grieving children living in her home. we were forced to learn how to fend for ourselves. needless to say, if anything happens to either jake or andrea, i'll never forgive myself.

"here you go buddy." i hand him his chocolate ice cream then going over to the cashier to pay for it. i grab jakes other hand and lead him out of the store. the ice cream parlor wasn't far from our home and i wanted to catch up with jake so we walked. it was dark out, around 7 pm, but the lights illuminated the street just enough so we can see.

"ok stop for a sec." i tell him. we have to cross the street now and i'm always afraid that someone might not see us and run us over, like what happened with my parents. its morbid but you always have to take precaution even when it means thinking of the worst possible scenario.

"we're clear, let's go. quick." i begin to walk, jake following right behind me. i make it across the street and look next to me but jake wasn't there, instead he was right in the center of the road looking down at the ice cream that has fallen. i see a car approaching right behind him, not even beginning to stop.

"jake, get out of the way!" i run to him, trying to make it in time to push him out of the way, but i didn't make it. the car made an attempt to stop as soon as he saw a child in the middle of the road but it was too late, he was going to fast. everything seemed as if it was moving in slow motion. the last thing i saw was the fear in jakes eyes as he stood paralyzed too scared to even move.

'no, no, no!' i rush over to him, panic taking over me, i check if he's still breathing and i feel a faint pulse. "jake! buddy! stay awake for me! stay awake! everything's going to be okay, its going to be ok. please just stay awake."

i take out my phone immediately dialing 911 "hello? yes i need an ambulance! my brother... my brother. he's hurt. just please hurry!" i couldn't speak anymore, couldn't breathe.

the ambulance arrives and they rush jakes limp body onto a stretcher, i get on right after.

"please help him!" i say frantic, "he's dying, do something!" the doctors are doing everything in their power to help him. we arrive at the hospital and they take him away, i don't leave his side until a nurse is pulling me away.

"what are you doing? i need to be with him! let go of me!" i yell, pushing the nurse away from me but another nurse comes and i don't have enough strength to fight them both off. they lead me to the waiting room and tell me that they're taking jake into surgery

i take this time to call andrea. what am i even going to say to her?

"mason? hey, whats up" a cheery voice chirps at the other end, completely oblivious to the fact that the smile on her face will be wiped off in just a second.

"jake's at the hospital, a car hit him." i say not even believing what came out of my mouth.

"..what," she breathes out, "i'm on my way." she says in a shaky voice. i hear a loud sob right before she ends the call. i feel like this is just a nightmare and i'll wake up soon. i close my eyes and think, 'any second now' while pinching myself, but when i open them back up i'm still in this horrifying reality.

i see andrea run into the hospital, frantically searching for me. i run up to her and hug her, we both stay there for a second just crying into each others shoulder's, completely disregarding the looks we are getting from all the other people because she might be all i have left in the world right now. we make our way back to out seat slowly.

after what seems like years, the doctors greets us.

"after performing surgery, he will be all right. the only major injuries were a broken arm, broken clavicle, and a concussion. however he did lose a lot of blood so we have to keep him here until further notice." he explains. i let out a breath i didn't even know i was holding.

'my jakey will be all right' i think as i hug andrea, thankful that god has given jake another chance. since it was late at night and visiting hours were over, the doctor told us to come back tomorrow. i wasn't exactly happy with this but andrea took me by the arm and dragged me out.

we got in the car and andrea started driving.

"stop," andrea spoke up, breaking the silence.

"what" i respond.

"stop beating yourself up about this, the guy was drunk and you tried to push jake out of the way, you tried to prevent this."

"i just let go of his hand for one second, but i guess all it takes is one second. if i would've just made sure he was next to me sooner, things would've been different. maybe jake wouldn't be in the hospital right now." i say, the lump forming in my throat making it more difficult to speak.

"all that matters right now is that jake is ok. a little scratched up, but he's ok"

"not just 'a little scratched up'! he could've died tonight! and its all my fault."

"stop it. its not your fault, jake was the one to stop, you didn't push him under the car." she tries to make me feel better, but i know it was my fault. i was responsible for him and under my watch, the little brother who has his whole life ahead of him, could've died tonight. all because i looked away for a moment.

andrea pulls up to our house. she opens her door and is about to make her way to the house but she notices that i'm not getting out of the car. she begins to walk over to my side.

"let's go." she says softly, i don't bother to move. she puts her hand on my shoulder and grabs my hand helping me out. all this guilt is weighing me down like a hundred bricks stacked up on my back. its hard to move.

"i'm so sorry." i hug her, beginning to cry again for what seems like the thousandth time today. she doesn't say anything, she just lets me cry, comforting me. i don't deserve her, not after what happened tonight under my watch.

after a minute of us hugging, we had to go inside. something felt different about this place, like i don't belong here anymore. i come across jakes room, he would've been sleeping in his bed right now after the fun time we had at the ice cream parlor. the smell of jake taunting me, reminding me of the tragedy.

i gotta get out of here.

....................
ok look ik this is kind of all over the place and extensive but starting a book is always hard so bear with me.