WOUNDS OF silk

1. Eeva

Tick!

Tock!

Tick!

The rhythmic cry of the clock sounded raucous, firing a string of protests in between short pauses, stirring the quietness of the room her body was desperately trying to settle in. But failing miserably and her mind was far from it.

Frightful notions about her situation she was forced into hovering over her head like pillows of ominous dark clouds before the storm broke out and drenched her from head to toe.

Eeva was trying to coax herself to calm down before her mind blown into a full-on crazy mode but the problem was there was nothing to console herself with of her pitiful situation.

It was not unusual in their world for girls around her age to marry off to a complete stranger but somehow, in her case, it was entirely different. Rather unexpected. Still, where her father was concerned, everything was possible. He was not the one to pass away any golden opportunities, always sticking out his neck in the hope to earn a seat and share the same meal with the high ranking members of his father's organization.

And in this case, Eeva was that goose that laid the golden egg.

The night before her wedding, her mother had come into her room after dinner and asked her to sit on the ground as she settled herself down on the couch. For extended minutes, no one had spoken. A thick, heavy silence had stretched between them as her mother was massaging oil in her unruly locks. After her mother had secured the braid with a hair tie, then only she placed her hands on her daughter's shoulders and spoke tenderly.

"You must be afraid, Eeva, but this is how marriage works in our world rule by allies and enemies. There is no space for love. There is no space for emotions and pity. We — the daughters, sisters and wives of the men in our world— have to be strong enough to swallow down whatever is thrown at our way. Our strength never determines by the bullet we fire and the blood with we wash our hands. Our strength lies within ourselves to survive each day with a smile on our face. You're not the first girl. And definitely, you will not be the last." 

Her mother had paused briefly, certainly deciding how to pick her next words, then she spoke again with renewed intensity in her voice, "The first night will be difficult... a little uneasy. You will feel a fraction of pain but it can be pleasurable if you don't resist. Persuade your husband to be gentle." Her mother murmured softly then her words took on a harsher tone, "Make him listen to you. Shower him with your tender words and loving touches, Eeva. Make him listen."

Her mother sighed. "Eventually, you will get used to your husband. Everybody does after a while. And somehow, you will develop feelings towards him. Maybe it will never be love. A sense of security. Protection. But it will be enough for your nights to pass by, safe and sound in his home. Away from the danger that comes with this life" Her words seemed genuine as if her mother believed those words and almost living her life through it.

Maybe. Eeva didn't know and before she had got the chance to ask her mother, she squeezed her shoulders and left the room without another word. But Eeva had felt her mother's hands were a little shaky and her gaits were a little hasty than usual as if her mother wanted to get away from her without lingering another minute in her presence.

Eeva was stunned and shocked. Her mother rarely flaunted her gentle side. Always strict and devoted to her duties. But she had spilled the truth without actually intended to and the rare flash of honesty her mother admitted, made Eeva realised the harsh reality her mother's situation she was condemned into.