The Unrevealed Writer (one Shot Story)

MOTIVATION

I once became a loser
I once became a selfish
I once became an ambitious

It was started when i dream to become a writer. My main goal is to gain popularity, and to beloved by people! I was too desperate to earn many readers. I've tried to join every group, so i could promote my story. I've also do the "follow back" "vote back" and many more...

I'm hopeless. And then suddenly, i was scrolling my facebook. Someone caught my eye! She was the reflection of me.

As the same of me.  There's a lot of questions in my mind. Like bakit!?

Bakit sila sikat?
Bakit ako hindi!?
Bakit gusto siya ng bayan?
Bakit ako hindi!?
Bakit siya magaling?
Bakit ako hindi!?
Bakit siya maraming readers?
Bakit ako konti!?
Bakit?
Bakit!
Bakit? Puro bakit!

And then i realize.  Insecurity na pala ang meron ako, insecurity na pala ang nasa isip ko. Insecurity na rin pala ang tumutolak sakin para mag-sulat!

Sumusunod ako sa uso kahit hindi ko gusto. Nagsusulat na lang ako para sa iba. Ginagawa ko na lang pala ito para sa iba. Yung passion ko at pangarap ko ay napuno ng insecurity at bakit!
Lahat pala ng ginagawa ko ay useless! Lahat pala ng ambition ko ay mali!

I was so sad.  i've stopped writing stories dahil sa insecurity ko. 2years akong naging silent reader, 2years akong napuno ng lungkot, 2years akong nag suffer dahil sa Expectations ko!

It was February 7,2019 nagkaroon ulit ako ng lakas para sumulat, actually may dalawa na akong stories pero ongoing pa lang. Dahil sa determination ko ay mabilis akong mag update 3 chapters everyday contains of 1000 words.
Pero parang nauulit nanaman yung nangyari 2years ago. Nagsulat nanaman pala ako to gain popularity. Almost the same lahat ng nangyayari!
Even my friends keep on telling me na magaganda ang stories ko. I wasn't contented with that! I want to show the world rather the universe what i am capable of writing! Nawawalan nanaman ako ng gana. Isusuko ko na ang passion ko.

But a friend of my friend in facebook leave a long comment there. Saying that...

Her first goal when she create an account is to gain popularity (so me!)
She also wants her books to be published. She really envy her friend. And then she suddenly realize that , she was not happy because she's writing it with a wrong reason and wrong goal. She was right if it's really your destiny you'll became a famous. People will love your stories not because of who the author is, but what the stories are all about. She also lost herself during reaching her dreams. (i feel her)
She said "WRITE BECAUSE YOU WANT TO KNOW THE WORLD YOUR STORIES"

Doon ako tinamaan ng sobra yung tipong habang sinusulat ko ito ay nakangiti ako. Siguro ay may mapapasaya rin akong mga unrevealed writers.

Simula sa araw na ito. Magsusulat ako dahil gusto ko!, magsusulat ako para sa sarili ko!, magsusulat ako dahil pangarap ko ito!, at magsusulat ako para ipakita sa mundo na masaya ako sa ginagawa ko.

SA LAHAT NG UNREVEALED WRITERS DIYAN, WAG KAYONG MAWALAN NG PAG-ASA. SAMA SAMA NATING IPAGPATULOY ANG ATING PANGARAP! AND I THANK YOU

-ANNSHEIKA SALAZAR