My shallow heart

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Only the wealthy can afford everything nice.

Happiness and the good life comes in an expensive price.

In reality, it's no one's fault that my life's not that way.

But I still shift the blame on those who made me exist anyway.

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Why can't I just be content?

Getting everything I want is my internal intent.

I wish my heart would stop yearning for more

Because if I don't achieve them, I don't want to live anymore.

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Why, my heart are you so shallow?

God's love suddenly feels too hard to swallow.

My selfishness and sorrow, please take it away!

So I can genuinely praise and worship you everyday.

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I question the plans you have for me

Just because I don't get them instantly.

I become more and more of a disappointment to you.

I pray instead that your better plans for me will come true.

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Do you still love me? I know that you do.

But it doesn't feel enough, which is sad but true.

All day long I wallow in misguided desires and self-pity.

If this drags on, will I even make it to thirty?

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Copyright

Star Ashley Cruz

Mar. 9 2019  

R.I.P. (Radical. Immortal. Poetry.)Where stories live. Discover now