❗️❗️TW❗️❗️The Hole

The Hole

Depression.
It controls someone's life wether they know it or not. It sucks you deep and then everything feels fine but when you least expect it you get sucked deeper and deeper into it. That's what i call the hole. Once you're in the hole you can act like you're fine and live your life normally but you still know you're in the hole and it's really hard to climb out of by yourself. Most people have someone to throw a ladder to you but some people don't. Some people don't want someone to throw the ladder down cause there's that slight risk that they'll also fall into the hole trying to help you. That's what i avoid. I don't want someone accidentally falling into the same hole that I'm in. So i stay in the hole and pretend like I'm out. It's hard. It doesn't matter the medicine you take for depression and it doesn't matter how many therapists you see. The hole is always there. Therapists, medicine and talking with people only gets you partially out of the hole. And if you don't get yourself all the way out you'll keep falling and every time you fall you keep going deeper and deeper and it'll take much more to climb back to the top. Being in the hole in my personal experience isn't the end of the world. I do things to help myself and i stay active and social. But that's during the day. When the light shines and brightens my hole with people i love and care about. That's when night hits. Your all alone and the hole gets darker and seems like it gets deeper. Not being able to sleep through it is even worse. You sit there all alone. Thinking about everything wrong you've ever done. Everything you could have but can't because of some obstacle. The hole is a terrible thing wether you can find ways to maintain the depth or wether you just feel with it. But you can let that hole drag you down. Don't let it consume you. The best way to get out of this hole. Is to try making yourself fill the hole in with things you know will help. If the hole gets dug up again all you can do is keep adding dirt to maintain how deep it gets. This is just my ways of coping and i thought maybe someone could use this to explain how they are feeling to someone. If you're experiencing depression please call and reach out to someone. Even if it only gets you out of the hole a little bit it's better then just sinking.