The house no one Knows about

TWELVE

'Can we just forget about this morning?' I say

'It's really complicated to just try and ignore everything that happened this morning'

I focus hard on his blue eyes unable to pull myself away.

'Please, I have a surprise for you'

'A surprise?'

'Yes, trust me'

'I should trust you?'

'Why not? That's why you're here right?'

He remained silent which only made me feel worse. I already know that I've ruined almost everything and I should have tried harder to get rid of Izzy and I should tell him the truth but where do I start? And what would he think of me then? No matter what the last thing I would do is to lose him. I don't care about what he thinks of me, I won't let him walk away.

'Okay, fine'

I lead him out of the house and onto the huge farm. It is bare except a barn that covers a tenth of the field. We walked into the centre and sat down on a blue and white checked blanket covered in scented flower petals. On the blanket is a dish full of chocolate-covered strawberries and two boxes of pizza.

'Cute' he says

'I'm glad you remember'

'What makes you think I could ever forget?'

We sit down, on the blanket and the scent of rose petals waft through the air. I know that sitting out in the open is something I would never do but being outside with him makes me brave.

'This morning from now on will be annihilated in ever record book. It will disappear from your memory because it is irrelevant. Izzy was a big part of my life and I won't lie he's always going to be but you don't need to worry about that because there's a reason I kicked him out of my house. Now think about that, you're special. I didn't tell you to live in my house without a reason, I told you to live in my house because I want you to stay. I don't want to see you leave and what happened this morning shouldn't give you any reason to. So just stay' I finish my speech with less breath than before and as usual his blue eyes are twinkling.

* * *

I want you to stay.

There would have been no better way to make forget this morning.

I want you to stay.

Her eyes looked bigger and lighter as she said it and she looks fantastic in her grey baggy top and neon green shorts.

'I thought the guys were meant to do the romantic stuff' I say

'It's no romantic, I just happen to enjoy your company'

I want you to stay.

'But you don't want me to leave ever?'

'No'

'Okay, I won't'

We eat the pepperoni pizza and pick out the pepperoni because it sucks and drink lemonade and eat strawberries while lying on our backs and staring at the sky. A heart-shaped cloud comes into view, when she looks up at it, she glances at me and starts to smile but of course with her face in her hands.

'You need to stop hiding your face when you smile'

'Why?'

'The world's missing out on a beautiful pair of lips smiling'

She smiled even more but this time her hair was in her face. We walk back to the house with the remains of our picnic in our hands. Bambi claims that she needs to rest and disappears into her room. I sit on the couch and turn on my phone and almost immediately it starts to ring.

'Hello?'

'You know I thought you were dead right?'

'I'm not going to say anymore until you confirm to me without lying that my parents are not within earshot'

There's a way I can tell if Gabe is lying or not. We've known each other for a long time and he knows when I need him to be honest.

'They aren't I'm at home'

'Gabe you need to swear that you won't tell anybody what I'm about to tell you'

'I don't care about whatever it is that you want to tell me, I just need to see you'

'Swear'

'I swear on the very indulging Xbox One console sitting in my room'

Gabe loves his Xbox One console.

'Keep going'

'Is swear that my Xbox One console shall implode if I break this promise'

I start to tell him everything beginning with my flat tyre to me running away but I don't mention anything about Izzy because I don't see the point.

'You've got some story there' he says when I finish

'I know'

'So, where is her house? Can I meet you there or anywhere?'

'No'

'Why not?'

'She hates visitors especially when she doesn't know them'

'You have to persuade her'

'I'm not going to bring it up'

'I don't care, Thompson. What is her address?'

'She doesn't have one'

'What is her address?'

'She doesn't have one Gabe! I'm serious, this place is isolated'

'So how did you get there?'

'I got lost'

'Well, you're going to show me the way to get lost too because I am going to see you today'

* * *

It was a mirage, a figment of my imagination, a made up conversation by my twisted mind but when I woke up it was real. I splash cold water on my face to make sure I'm not in that alternate universe where my worst fears have come to life. My backup hair slide is in its position; waiting to be pulled out and used to penetrate the skin of somebody. I tighten my hand around the hair slide and slowly creep down the stairs. T.A.A.B.W.I.A.W.A.D.A.F.458.I is sitting on the couch deep in conversation with a darker, bigger boy. They stop talking when they see me.

'Bambi, this is my friend Gabe'

He rises to shake my hand.

I've been betrayed. Who is this? Why is he here? Why did T.A.A.B.W.I.A.W.A.D.A.F.458.I bring him here? I bolt up the stairs and try to push back the fear that stiffened my joints and fight it with anger but I only feel good when I've slammed the door and locked it.