"A Circle of Life"

Part 1

"Circle of Life"
​My name is Peejay, I am 17 years old and currently studying at San Nicolas National Highschool. I'm with my brother Ceejay, a 23 year old engineer. My brother and I have a good relationship. He's my kuya, he's my bestfriend, he's my savior and my partner in crime, in short he is more than just a brother. We stay on our tita's house. My mother is a 47 year old OFW at LA and I've never seen her in person for almost 15 years. Yes, she always give and provide us our needs for everyday living. She always have a present for us even though we are not asking for that, she never let us stop schooling even if we know that she has a problem financially. I am always asking myself, why did my chose to work abroad though our family will be broken. Why don't she forgive my father instead? It really hurts because my mother told me that nothing is more important in life than a family with full of love and forgiveness.
5 years after my parent's had separated...
​I know that my dad did a big mistake to my mother. He had a third party with his workmate. That time when I saw my father dating that girl, there's only one thing on my mind and that is to tell my mother that her husband had a third party. My mother cried, I was so angry with my dad. I love him very much, he has a promise on us and that is to bring our family in Paris. Our dream place that we want to go to. That one mistake of my father changed everything. My mother sent him away and after that, we do not know where my father is. Looking at my own family, I'm disappointed. That time I hated my mother because he chose to work abroad and left us after what happened to them and of course my dad who did a big mistake that broke our family.
​I was 12 years old that time, a graduating student of the elementary department. I expressed my thoughts and emotions openly to my friends. I was tired of living on my tita's house but I had nowhere to go. I was going crazy that time talking to myself asking what happen to my family. Time comes that I am blaming God for letting this happen. The only reason I go home was to sleep at night. Back home, I faced the same battles everyday. The only person that lifts me up is my brother. One day, after his work, my brother and I had a dinner. The moment he speaks, tears started to fall down on my face telling him that I'm very tired of living in this world, the world that is full of sadness. My kuya hugged me tightly and that hug that I felt is like the hug of our mother and father in me. That time, I remembered our memories with my parents that is full of love, care and forgiveness.
​My brother said that I should let this things surrendered to God.  I went to the church and the first time I step on it, I felt warm and safe and that is also the first time I had felt that way. My tears fell down again when I saw God crucified at the cross. I realized that God gave up his own life to forgive our sins. Throughout that time, God held my hand to get over to my rebellious phase. It gives me hope that there's still a chance that my mother and father will fix their problem. When I finally sat down, a priest saw me crying. He approaches me and I shared to him our story because I want to release the pain in my heart. That priest encouraged me to serve God and be part of the Altar Server's and that fully changed me. I became better because I always feel the presence of God. My faith on Him became deeper and deeper. I also came to realize that while I did not choose to be born into my family, God had chosen to place me in this kind of situation and it must be in His purpose to place me here. The best thing that I can do for my future is to fully accept myself and this family that God has placed me in.
​Since I was a graduating elementary student that time, I pursue my studying to have a better future. I set aside my pain and continue in striving excellence. I graduated as a Class Valedictorian in our class and I was so happy that time. I was crying because I had overcome those challenges I've met since my parents broke up. I remembered those days when I want to leave my tita's house when there is no one listening to me, when I was going crazy, when I was asking myself why do this things happened to us. Thanks be to God because He never leaved me. He showed me the right pathway to my future.
​I continued in serving God and studying well in school. 4 years later, I was a graduating high school student that time. My brother told me that he has a surprise for me and told me that I will surely be happy. I was very curious because I don't know what it is. March 2, 2008 a special and memorable date for me, the day that I've been waiting for. I'm with my brother and tita on my Graduation Day. I graduated as a Class Valedictorian again and I did not expect that much because I'm happy and contented with my achievements as long as I give my best on it.
​After my Graduation Day, we went home. I opened the door and I saw two person. It was my mother and father. I was shocked and felt angry and all the pain that I felt when I was a child went back to me. I ran into my room crying and crying. I set aside the pain, I didn't think about my parents. I started a new life without them and know they'd be there. My kuya and tita went into my room, they told me that they knew about this. My mother together with my father also followed me in my room. They hugged me very tight, I cried because I felt the warmth of their hug. I feel safe and comfortable but there's a pain inside me, I do not know what really happens because I thought that it cannot be fixed after all of what my father did.
​My brother approached me, he went into the airport before my graduation day. He told me that it's been a year since my mother forgive my father because my father followed her in LA. I saw both of them in front of me. I hugged both of them. They told me the story, my mother told me again that nothing is more important in life than a family that is full of love and forgiveness. After that conversation, we started a new life together. My father bought a house for our family and we become whole again.
​It's almost 1 year and here I am crying in front of the grave of the 3 person whom I loved so much. It really hurts because I cannot turn back the time. I cannot believe that they will die just because of a car accident after a month that we had fixed our problem and finally we are complete. I remembered the day when God gives me a hope that there's a chance that our problem will be fixed. I know that there is a purpose and reason why such things happened to me. Indeed life is too short and we only live once so let's live life to the fullest and spend our time with our loved ones while they are still there for us. But still in all of the challenges that I had encountered, I will still continue to serve God because He gave me the strength to face and conquer every battles in my life.
THE END...