broken barriers

five.

I think I’ve seen this before. I remember when we had our very last date together as we celebrated our tenth year anniversary, he kneeled right in front of me. But then he wasn’t able to continue what was he about to say because he held his heart right on his chest. His face became frustrated and he was feeling the drastic pain. I panicked and screamed out for help.

When he was sent to the hospital, I was being barricaded by a group of nurses, telling me that I am not allowed to go inside. It was 9 in the evening. I was still waiting for so many hours.

A few minutes later, Tita Jocelyn came by and she was crying and running after me.

“No! No! That’s my child in there!” She screamed as the nurse was trying to stop her.

“Mrs. Sanchez, you must remain here and wait for the bypass surgery to be done. We will let you know.” The nurse commanded Mario’s mother with conviction. She was feeling hopeless.

At 1 in the morning, the doctor approached us as we were waiting in the lobby. “Mrs. Sanchez and Ms. Gutierrez?” We nodded for confirmation.

“Mario experienced a cardiac arrest and we had to perform a bypass surgery. Unfortunately, he didn’t make it. I am deeply apologizing for your loss.”

Mrs. Sanchez began to collapse on the cold floor of the hospital and I got shocked. I was able to catch her but my physical strength wasn’t good enough. I was assisted by the doctor, and we told her to sit down for a while. She was emotionless. And likewise for me, I felt nothing. Nothing at all.

It deafened me. He's gone.