PlEaSe Me (Bruno Mars)

I'm very hungry and in a rush when I notice a nearby diner. As I walk in I see Bruno Mars seductively staring at me.

I notice drops of red coming down from the sides of my face.
I say "My ears are bleeding, can you get an ambulance?"
He replies "I'll get it for a kiss."
I say "Well that was a good talk." While doing a Jerry Seinfeld walk away.

I notice a google home right next to the jukebox in the diner and say "Hey Google, get me an ambulance." After Bruno annoyed me by pretty much declining.
Then Google shocks me saying "No, kiss Bruno."
Suddenly the whole diner is chanting "KISS BRUNO, KISS BRUNO!"
Then he gets up and walks towards me to ask "What's it gonna be?"
As he pulls me closer. It's then I notice the firmly held knife in his hand.
"Kiss me or Kill me." He says.
He shifts the knife into my hand.
"Chose." He whispers into my ear.
I do the only thing I can think of and grab my phone to call 911. Some how Bruno notices this and backs up to do a Sailor Moon spin

into a police outfit and says
"We're already here." While doing a superhero like stance.
I make a scene saying "GIMME YOUR BADGE!"
As I pull out my gun from my purse and I fire it into his abdominal region.
Bruno gives a sly smirk and recites vine "Imma bad bitch you can't kill me."
My eyes widen as I realize he's immortal and I back up.
So then I call my best friend Stephen Hawking from the grave.

As I'm chanting to raise him, it's almost as if Bruno understood and shockingly says
"Little do you know Stephen Hawking was my last lover and obeys to only my command." And continues the chant to my surprise. Starting to feel intimidated, I get the sudden rush to grab the screwdrivers in my purse and I start to throw them at everybody in the diner including Google and yell
"SCREW YOU!" Or "YOU'RE SCREWED!"
As it hits them. When I threw one individual screwdriver for each of the 303 people at the diner including Google it came time to hit Bruno and his newly arrived friend Stephen Hawking, who really should've been on my side. I go to throw it at Bruno but Stephen stops it mid air with his mind and sends it back making me see white then pitch black.