You still hide the truth, the truth untold, the truth that you want to admit to your ex-boyfriend, Yeonjun. You want to tell him that you want him back, that you miss him, and that you're truly sorry for what you did. You just want to tell him everything.
Everyday, you miss him so much that you keep staring at your first picture together for hours. You miss his adorable smile that is much more brighter than the sun. You miss his warm cuddles that just made you feel safe 24/7. You miss his voice. Jesus, you always listen to his voicemails just to hear that voice everyday. You miss his laughs, the laughs made you even fall for him even more. You just miss him so bad.
The only thing you want right now is him and go back in time to fix everything.
What happened?
6 months and a day ago, you cheated at Yeonjun. At the same time, you lost the most important person in your life but the thing is, you didn't realize he is important to you. You didn't realize he is the most valuable person that ever happened to you.
But you realized that you lost him and you realized that you screwed up everything when you found yourself outside your shared apartment with Yeonjun with your bags.
That's when you know, you're probably never going to get back together.
If you have the chance to go back in time to fix everything, you would've grabbed that chance earlier but do you have that chance? No, you don't. Unfortunately for some of us, we don't get to have second chances.
Today is another day that you lock yourself at your room, listening to The Truth Untold and stare at your first picture together with Yeonjun. It's funny because you're in this situation because it looks like you were the one who got cheated on.
You know that I can't show you me, give you me, chorohan moseub boyeojul sun eopseo.
You know deep inside that you can't show your true self when you're still with Yeonjun. You have trouble showing to Yeonjun what you really feel but Yeonjun being Yeonjun, he helped you because that's how kind he is.
You know deep inside that you failed to give what Yeonjun deserves. He deserved the love but you failed to give him that. He deserves the world but you failed to give him that. He deserves everything but you failed to give him everything.
But I still want you.
Despite of what you did to him, you want Yeonjun back and that's the truth untold.
***
Tto gamyeoneul sseugo neol mannaero go.
These days you find yourself outside, usually wearing a hoodie and a mask to hide yourself. But you only went outside to check on how's Yeonjun doing without asking anybody.
You went to his favorite cafe where he usually goes to eat breakfast. You sit on the left side of the establisment, with him on the opposite side. You used to eat with Yeonjun here and just joke around until it leads to throwing each other small pieces of food until you are requested to get out of the establishment. Oh, if you only have the chance to relive those days.
You see him eat his meal with disinterest, as if the food has no taste whatsoever. Your heart twists in pain at the sight of Yeonjun being like this. What have I done? You thought. Not being able to take another second of seeing him being so sad, you stormed out of the cafe with heavy guilt slowly residing on your soul.
Slowly, tears began to blur your vision and realization starts to kick in. Yeonjun hasn't moved on from you. If he had, then you would have seen him with someone else and you would have seen him smiling. But was he with someone else? No. Was he smiling? No.
You think that you still might have a chance but you don't want to bring your hopes up.
You returned to your shared apartment with your elder sister. As you opened the door, she greeted you and gestured you to come sit beside her at the couch.
Once you sat beside her, she looked at you with concerned eyes. "I'm concerned about your situation, (Y/N)-ah. I can't stand seeing you outside and going back in here then lock inside your room. Is everything alright?"
Suddenly out of nowhere, you broke down and your sister embraces you on her arms, caressing your back gently.
"I just miss him. I miss Yeonjun." you said between sobs and your sister broke from the hug and wiped a tear that fell from your face.
"I know." she said.
"What should I do, unnie?" you asked with desperation in your voice. You're desperate for Yeonjun. You're desperate for the pain to be over. You're desperate for everything.
"Apologize to him. Tell him what you really feel." your sister said.
"He probably doesn't want to see me." You say and hugged your knees. But thinking of what your sister said, she is right. You should apologize for everything and tell him everything.
"It doesn't matter if he doesn't wants to see you, what matters is that you tell him the truth you've been hiding." she said.
Your sister is right. It doesn't matter if Yeonjun didn't want to see you and what really matters is that you tell him the truth and Yeonjun deserves to hear it too. If he doesn't want to see you, it's worth the try, right?
***
You followed your sister's advice and here you are, standing outside the door of your shared apartment. The temptation to give up and leave makes you want to give in but you have to do this.
"It's now or never." You mutter to yourself. With hesitation, you knock on the door three times.
The door is opened by none other than your ex-boyfriend himself. You see him up close and personal. Yoy see the swollen eyes and the sad and lost face of a boy. You see the opposite side of Yeonjun.
"(Y/N)..."
"Yeonjun..." You muttered. You couldn't find your voice because of slight shock because infront of you is the opposite side of Choi Yeonjun.
"What are you doing here?" Yeonjun asked but there is no trace of annoyance in his voice. No anger. No bitterness.
"I'm sorry." You said, loud and clear. You took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I cheated on you. I know I screwed up. I screwed us up. I didn't know what drove me to cheat on you and eversince, I feel like I'm the biggest failure that existed."
You glance at his eyes. You continued, "And at the same time, I just want you back. I really miss you, I do." You paused. "I don't expect you to believe me and forgive me because you don't have to and if I were you, I would hate me and never forgive myself."
There, you just told him the truth you've been hiding.
Receiving no reaction from him, you twist your lips and slowly nodded. He probably doesn't forgive me. You said to yourself.
You walk away slowly because you didn't want to leave. You want to stay there on the spot, standing in front of Yeonjun, despite of the awkward silence.
You walk away but only to be pulled by him. You found yourself at the arms of the boy you once lost.
"Who says I would never forgive you?"
