what to do ...

how not to be whipped for him?

So, i have a major crush on ehem...ehem! And it is for like....3 years! I never told him that i like him and the more i wanted to get near him, the more i get  injured. Sometime, i ask myself "is it worth chasing after him and he never knows?" Then i realise...it might be stupid too.

The more i was hurt, the more mature i become and it all make sense. my love is only one sided love and he will never notice the little things i do to get near him...i hope he is happy tho.

How did i fall in love with him? On the first day, we were all new to the environment that is call "secondary school" because we just graduated last year which was in 2015. I am very grumpy for a first year student in a new school. I was like..."I hate you, I hate youanddd yoouuu!  All of u can go and suck your thumb! " I nearly slap my soon to be bff too.

Then it all came down from hate to a fuckin hell hole 🕳️

The teacher come in and Rearrange our seats.  Ouh, heck he did it!  I was so fed up with him and nearly slap the shit out of his stupid container. (But I never did because I am short asf! If my friend/classmate saw this, p. S. Act like u never know me or read this.)

So, I reach out for a paper and look at it blankly. In my head, I thought that my teacher is gonna treat us like a kindergarten kids because he cannot handle us or something? I give him the " wat the fuck u mean by this" look straight up to him.

He ask us to get our ass up and find our partner using that and find a seat together! I was outrage, to be honest from where it is going😡

Skip To the main point here...

I did found my seat mate and he is annoying 😒

First impression of him is... "He is an idiot and he can go and suck his #$*¢!" I avoid him, mostly. In classes, people would make me interact and we ended up having the same discipline master. (The one who of all teacher would wheck our ass and kill us for doing something dumb... I am close to him and students call me his pet.) He always joke around with me and borrow my things.  To make things wrost, he always find a excuse to why he would not have the time to return my shits back to meeee ~T_T~

We were so close back then that the whole class thinks I like him. I really hate that thi... Actually, I never want to hate him in the first place. It all came to an end when the boys and girls was against each other in class... I have To stay far away from him and try not To look at him. ( it was hard...)

none of my friend or anyone know that I like...love him. i love him like I am incomplete without him. i love him that I nearly die of not eating. I love him too much, I bear the pain when I know he like someone else, someone who is better then me, someone I know so well... 

I wish him luck and...best friend s-stays bestie, r-r-rite?maybe we are well off each other and laugh it off.