The Death of Private Smith & The Return of Anna Hewlett

Untitled Part 1

Silence- all-encompassing and unforgiving infiltrates the house. The parchment peels away from the brunette's heavily trembling hands, flittering downwards to rest at her feet. Black inked words callously announce an incredible loss.

We regret to inform you that Major Benjamin Tallmadge has been killed in action.

A heart barely fluttered inside of Mary's chest for, it was seized by the crippling and icy tendrils of numbness. "I...it can't be true." She remarks to the courier who had the misfortune of being selected to deliver the news. "Surely it must be a mistake. What proof have you?"

"No, ma'am. It is not a mistake. I saw him myself. He was all dressed up in blue and gold. They shot him." He replies, although her assertion had been semi-rhetorical in nature. He then furnishes the bullet-riddled jacket. It was Ben's. It was still missing that button she had stolen from it when they had started courting. The missing button was presently dangling from her necklace.

"Nicoll," Mary cries for her brother. He had just happened to be visiting on leave.

Fingers reach forward and grapple for a strong-hold on the back of the nearest wooden chair. Thoughts crashed through her mind at an overwhelming rate of speed. "My husband," she starts slowly. "He is going to be ... coming home. He has to. Tomorrow is ... our anniversary. I ... I just mended his jacket ... made dinner ... and th .. the kids ... they ... " There is scarcely congruency between the disjointed words. Meeting the doleful gaze of the courier, she felt the incredible tide of sorrow crashing down upon her. Her face grows red as she tries to hold herself together for the sake of the toddler clinging to her leg.

"Moma ... you cryin'?" William questions peering up at her.

"Aye. Baby. Everything will be okay. I promise," Mary states in the most confident tone she could muster. It was a lie but she doesn't need to trouble their son with the heavy weight of the world. "Why don't you go with Uncle Nicoll? Hmm..." she prompts. "I'm sure he can get you a candy and read you a story. Just please be careful not to wake your sister."

Mary watches as their obedient son toddles off with her elder brother. She waits until they are out of sight and earshot before snatching Ben's coat from the clutches of the other soldier. The fabric is pulled protectively close to her chest. "Please tell me, my Ben, didn't suffer," she beseeches. Her tone wavering with extreme agony. "Tell me he is at peace." Mary's silver flooded burnt-sienna hues flicker upwards slowly as she issues her entreaty.

The soldier says nothing out of the fear of upsetting her further.

"If you bear only silence or tales of suffering - take your leave!" Mary shouts, in a moment of un-contained fury. She doesn't mean to be harsh or to snap, it just happens. Just as she requested, he is quick to scurry out the door. And with a jarring slam, she is left alone with nothing but her misery and faded memories.

She blames herself for this. For not clinging to Benjamin tighter and insisting that he stay home. Now her comeuppance was to raise two children without their father. Oh God, how was she going to explain this to their kids? Even if she didn't tell them right away, they would soon be asking for their beloved Daddy. This is why she never wanted to fall for a soldier in the first place.

Pressing her back to the wooden panel of a wall, she lets her heavy figure sink to the floor. How was she to move on without her best friend? Her better half? Mary's knees curl inwards, pressing to her chest. Her hands bring Ben's jacket to her face to muffle the ugly sobs. "You weren't su...supposed to leave me! I loved you more than life itself! We were supposed to grow old together!" Mary refuses to move from her position on the floor even as the hours passed. Her heart had been shattered beyond repair.

Breathlessly she murmurs, "I'm not strong enough to do this alone.."